Author: marettej

I love the prayer book, Valley of Vision. It has become one of the mainstays beside my big black Bible. Today’s reading reminded us who God is and what we are to become. “We depend upon his death, rest in his righteousness, desire to bear his image.”

At the end of the reading it gives this challenge.

“Let us as Christians fill our various situations in life, escape the snares to which they expose us, discharge the duties that arise from our circumstances, enjoy with moderation their advantages, improves with diligence their usefulness, and may every place and company we are in be benefitted by us.”

Let me paraphrase to meet 2020 head on.

“Let us as  Christians live where we are, be wise in the virus warnings, be aware who needs our assistance around us, use this time to chill, refresh and renew our relationship with you, spend time listening (phones can be talked on not just texted) and may we be have eyes in back of our heads to see the situations around us and know what we can do so when we walk out the door (Figuratively), someone has been blessed by our being there by either our words, our kindness, our gifts or our prayers.”

I am mailing some care packages today. I will be sending a few cards and making a few more phone calls. People don’t social distance well. Our hearts need that gentle touch that comes from others. So if we can’t literally touch, what’s the next best thing we can do to have “every place and company we are in be benefited by us”?

Romans 1:11-12  “I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong- that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith.”

Now is the time to encourage others. I really miss church. I miss communion. I miss prayer time and the reading of the Scripture. I miss the quiet moments. I miss the walking beside a total stranger knowing they felt they needed to be in church too. I miss the emotional bond that comes from being with a whole bunch of people; together! There is an odd kind of bond which Paul eludes to. There is something about being with other believers that really boosts our hearts.

So find a way to boost without being! Find a way to share without sitting beside. Find a way to give without your hands being the giver. Find a way to lay your hands on and pray without touching the one you are praying for. In this interesting time, social distancing doesn’t mean distancing of the heart.  Go find a way to love someone with the love of Jesus!

I remember when time seemed to stand still when I was a child and the news of President Kennedy’s assassination hit the radio waves. We didn’t have TV so radio is all we had. I remember walking through the Apache Mall and standing with many others outside Radio Shack and watched the Challenger explode. I remember instead of a World Series game there was an earthquake. The players were not running onto the field to protect themselves, they were frantically looking in the stands for their families and getting others out onto the field to safety. I remember walking into Hirshfields and hearing a place had flown into a building. Moments when time stands still never are forgotten.

I also remember that first kiss from this boy I liked. I remember my first overseas flight to England with Fred and Charlotte Miller. I remember when I realized I had broken someone’s heart by my sin. I remember realizing I needed to live like a Christian. I remember how cold the water felt of whitewater creek when I walked in to be baptized. I remember thinking Jim might actually be the one I marry. I remember seeing that first glimpse of Addlea, covered with white stuff and looking quite, newbornish. There are moments in time we remember. So while we go through the interesting world we are living in now, make sure you stop to appreciate the moments of awe, the smile of a friend, the love expressed in a note and the eyes around your table enjoying eating together cause you can’t really go anywhere. There will be lots of interesting things to remember from covid-19, but be sure the moments of the heart are treasured before you complain about the inconveniences that we think get in our way of enjoying life. And stay in your prayer room just s bit longer and thank God that you have electricity, food, water, cars with gas and of course the obvious: toilet paper.

I am reading through Lent a series that challenges my heart. Today’s was another topic that seems to accelerate the heart rate and raise the blood pressure. That word is slander. Ephesians 4 reminds us, “let NO unwholesome words proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification, according to the need of the moment so that it will give grace to those who hear it.” That in itself is rather easy to do. Just don’t talk. However, there is a deeper river that goes below the bridge. It’s not just don’t stay it, he is eluding to not even thinking it. We are challenged to dig up and Uproot the attitudes that would produce slander. Now that’s a while different game. The writer of Ephesians says in verse 31 to get rid of bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander along with every kind of malice. I really have no problem not slandering the ones I love. It’s the people or the situations I am hesitant about that I tend to rile up and throw the heat. If I am to get rid of my issues, that will give my heart a chance to speak that which edifies not eatifies. We like to nibble on gossip which leads to slander. We like to take a bite of a snack wrap with those we don’t care for right in between two pieces of bad attitude. For me to change my disposition or attitude,takes a bit of humble pie, refocusing on myself and what I need to improve on rather than who can I talk about? That’s a mouthful to chew on as I Lay my head down for the night….

I love the book of James. I am not sure why, but I always have. My life verse is in the book of James which ironically happens to be the same dates for my birthday. 1-27. I am not sure why I have been drawn to the two sections of our humanity that the verse suggests: widows and orphans or my translation, older people and kids. Perhaps because my Grandma was a huge influence in my life. She lived on the farm when we were growing up. I thought everyone had a grandma like mine. Cookies, a listening ear, scones and a typewriter to get me through high school. As she grew older I sensed the need for that connection so that I learned all I could from her heart before she left. Orphans: well kids are just awesome. They see the world through glasses I forget to put on. So the book of James talks about many things I struggle with but I have found some priceless gems, which 1:27 would be one of them.

I almost get through the book before I find a verse I don’t like. Some of the verses I struggle with such as a teacher having more expectations and standards than others. Then some verses I really can put my mind behind cuz they deal with horses and bits! Been there done that. The trials and temptations, and asking because you believe not to mention looking at people’s hearts and not their outer garments: those I can hold onto somewhat without having a panic attack.

But then- James 5:17 comes and I huddle behind the door. Confession! I didn’t grow up understanding what confession is. Somehow, I understood to be wrong was to be weak and to admit you were wrong was an insult on me as a person. Being wrong was not just being wrong, it meant I was a bad person because I wasn’t right.  I’m not sure how I grew up understanding that little twisted thought but it hung with me well into my adult life

So introduce confession. I have been in very few churches who have even talked about the C word: confession. And then, you say that you need to confess to your friend? I have had friends who would have loved me regardless of what I confessed: I do have friends. But there is a switch inside my heart that just is really hard to flip on when it comes to confessing. I am not sure it’s about confessing what we have done as much as it is verbalizing and hearing it come from the heart.

Years ago I sat in an old pick up truck and confessed. It was probably the first time ever and though very hard to do, changed the projection of my life. And interestingly enough, there was a bond that connected me and the one who heard my life flop out on the front seat. Until she died, we held a special connection because she knew me, loved me and helped me walk past the ditch in my life without going back in.

If I am actually to live out the Bible, I need to take verses in my heart that I might hyperventilate on, and step into them rather than avoid them. I have always said we lie best at church. You walk into church, the greeter says hi and then says that statement that no one really wants an answer to. “How are you today?” They don’t want to know, we don’t want to tell them so we answer, “Fine,” or “doing ok”. What if we went to church and church never happened because people were huddled in groups actually being true to what was happening in their life? That was really what the church was about in Acts.  They met together and shared life. Part of sharing life is being real, open and confessing.

And then the end of the verse: pray for each other so that we may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. So prayer always follows confession. And confession is always to someone who is a righteous person. I have my list of who I trust with my heart. I have a few that flop their laundry on my side of the table and I pray for. That’s called doing life together! It’s a beautiful part of the way Jesus told us to live as Christians. It’s just rather, well, humbling! And humbling ourselves in the eyes of the Lord is a character the Holy Spirit is constantly working at in my heart.

It was my intention as it always is. Ash Wednesday Service was yesterday. I had made my plans and going to an Ash Wednesday service was the highlight of the week. Then there was Monday. Somehow Monday, a piece of the wicker laundry basket was on the floor and I stepped right on it. I didn’t just step on it, I launched it into my foot. That didn’t stop me. I hobbled through the day. I spent a large portion of the day in the hospital with friends then of course fulfilled my obligation to my Taekwondo Class. They are used to me modifying my movements so hobbling was not unusual to them. By the end of the night however, it was evident something was wrong. So I came home, sterilized a needle and tweezers and went on the attack. The best part of where the sliver had gone in was it was on the extreme bottom part of my foot. I didn’t do as much damage as I would have liked. It’s a bit hard to see down there!

By yesterday, my Ash wednesday planning day, things were worse. I called the Dr. and then headed into town where they advised me to go.  By the time I hobbled out of the Dr. office with only a sock on because there was no way my painful throbbing foot was going to go into my shoe, I realized there would be no Ash Wednesday Service. I was at the mercy of getting home on my own are allowing the 11 year old to drive us home. I opted for biting the bullet  and going straight home.

Ash Wednesday came and went. I snuggled on the chair under my blanket and tried not to feel my foot throbbing. Ironically, I had no cross of ashes on my forehead however I have a cross on my foot, a lancing of the sliver location.  One would have reminded me of the death of my Lord. The other reminded me of the pain of my Lord.

This morning as I snuggle with three dogs on the couch, I am reading my Lenten study. I never did this as a kid. We ignored it. The older I get the more I find the things that others use to focus their eyes on God can really be effective in my worship.  What I remember from Lent as a child is the kids in school talking about what they gave us and we got Fish Sandwiches in the cafeteria for lunch on Friday.   Lent focuses on fasting, forgiveness, giving up something and  refocusing our hearts from what so easily entangles us to look at what should propel us to be more like Jesus.  I don’t like to give up things, especially food.

I have a fancy, well not really fancy, gauze covering the bottom  of my foot. It’s held on with white tape.  It doesn’t hurt as much as it did last night. My heart changes are the same. The things I feel God drawing out of me to bring me closer to Him may hurt for a while but eventually the scab and the scars are reminders of His healing.

I won’t forget my foot issue for a long time. It will be with me every time I take a step. That should be with my heart also. I should feel the changes, either taking away (giving up for Lent) or adding to my faith walk to draw closer to God. Every step I take should remind me that I desperately need God, I am loved by an incredible creator and my sins are forgiven. That’s better than ashes, gauze and tape!