Author: marettej

I love to travel. Give me five minutes and I can have my suitcase packed, be waiting while Jim fills the car with gas and I am on my way. There have been a few times when I actually left and wasn’t sure where I was going. A couple of those times have included farm stuff. Jim will say, “start off and I will let you know which field I’m in.” Those aren’t really journeys of a weary heart although a few times before cell phones when I went to a field and waited two hours, the journey became weary by the end.

No trip stands out in my heart more than Indpls about 10 years ago.  My nephew was in Memphis very ill. They called the rest of the family down. That included my niece’s husband who had stayed behind in Indpls with their four girls. The spouses were needing to get to Memphis. Oh, and there was a baby involved. I had talked to my sister, called a few other people and then called Jim asking him what he thought of my feeling I needed to go care for the girls. I drove in the yard, he took the car to get new tires (it’s a long 9 hour drive) and by the time I threw clothes in a suitcase and gave some instructions to kids, he was back and I was on my way. That nine-ish hour trip was a weary journey. I prayed and talked on the phone to friends while I drove. It seems that prayer and talking to friends belongs in the same sentence. Prayer is so much like talking to friends. James 2:23 reminds us that ‘”Abraham believed God and it was credited to him as righteousness”, and he was called God’s friend.’ A weary heart talks to a friend: I am a friend of God.

How do you talk to a friend? I talked to a friend most of the way home last night from Cowboy Church. I talked to a couple close friends at Cowboy Church. I call friends. I send friends notes: friends and talking go hand in hand. When my heart is weary and I have a long road ahead of me, it’s only natural to do two things. Call a friend and talk to God in prayer.

Many times I let things build up inside. When I finally blurt it out in the safety of a friend often their first words are, “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”  When I finally confess what I have been struggling with, (it’s no surprise to God) he is true to a friend’s  response. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

Yesterday’s sermon was all a bout being weary.  One statement made that resonated well in my heart was how we make the assumption that God is just as tired as we are. I don’t tire much, but when I do, I am exhausted. I put that frame of my expectations of God along with my abilities to deal with the moment.  Isaiah 40 reminds us that when we take off on the journey by ourselves, we get weary we stumble and we fall. When we let God help walk the journey, we walk, run and soar.  Simply allowing God to hear us out and use his vision instead of ours, the weary journey begins a tour de God.

Everyday we begin a journey. Some are fun. Some are anticipated. Some are surprising. Others are to be endured. Everyday we begin a journey. Even the exciting fun ones need to be prefaced in prayer, but especially, the journey of a weary heart. The journey of a weary heart begin in prayer.

I had to make some changes this last winter, and one of them was adding something that challenged me. I had won a gift certificate at a Martial Arts Studio in a fundraiser. No one wanted to go; I tried pawning it off on kids, so I thought I would try it. That definitely  got me OUT of my box. My box is big. I am not afraid of trying anything once. This has been an interesting venture. So interesting that I signed up for more.

I am learning things. I am not too proud is one thing I have learned.  I was thinking I needed a slower processing class. The thought had briefly gone through my mind when  I went to a class and was with the little kids.  Initially I thought it would be awkward but actually it turned out really good. I am even lower than their level. That’s a good way to learn.  Actually, the few classes I have been in with kids, I have learned more than the classes with adults!

The first thing I learned is you line up by rank. I know, since I am a white belt, there can be none lower. Then there were kids with white belts in a different rank line than myself. But on their white belt, there were two black stripes. That meant they were a bit higher. Of course there were kids with green, blue and yellow belts in the class. They were ahead of me.  Later when I was quizzing the teacher about something I didn’t understand he clued me in on the belts. Each color belt and stripes on the belt tells them what to expect from the child. I have nothing on my white belt. They expect nothing from me.  That was a relief! The little girl with the two black stripes on her white belt, she should know a bit more. I felt great. I had NO expectations. I will step to the challenge and get to a bar on my white belt. And to do that, I need to be able to do the  patterns. I can front block, side block, jab, side kick, front kick, high block and  do the horse riding stance. I may look like a 61 year old doing a kids game, but it’s been really good for my mind not to mention my heart!

If only in our lives would we wear belts so that others would know what they can expect from us.  On any given day, my emotions can be swinging faster than a rope bridge over the canyon with a bunch of teenage boys on it.  You walk by and say something,  not seeing the stripe or color of my belt, and I fall apart! I see someone smiling. I think they are happy but if they had a belt on telling me they were hurting inside, I could stop and intentionally spend more time with them rather than hurry on my way.

I probably won’t make it to black belt but I have learned alot and it’s a great physical work out and something that stretches my mind and my old body.  And when I look at another’s heart, I pray that God shows me the color of belt or stripes so I know what to expect and how I can love them the way they need to be loved.

It was almost a year ago I bought him. I am calling him a him because I bought it the day our dear friend went home to be with Jesus. I call it Chuck. It is a cello. It’s a beautiful instrument. I figured since I fiddled, cello wouldn’t be that hard to learn. It doesn’t help either to have a nephew who is majoring in cello. He makes it look so easy. He makes it sound beautiful. He plays in Carnegie Hall. I play in the music room. He plays concertos. I play scales and a few minuets. What is the difference? He is serious. I am interested. He has trained and practiced for years. I am curious and slightly intrigued.

I met someone the other night to buy a 1/2 size violin for my fiddle camps. He told me he is giving me something else that he has had for awhile and he thought I could use better than he. I call it Crash. Crash isn’t as nice looking as Chuck. Crash is called crash because he is in pieces. He is still a cello. He has the potential to look beautiful and play well. Both Chuck and Crash have the same potential. I have potential. But until I fix Crash up and spend lots of time playing, I won’t be nearly as competent as my nephew.

We sat talking the other day about our faith walks. One young man really wants to be a Chuck but he is more like Crash. Believing in God is a step. Buying a cello is a step. Learning to play and making music that is pleasing takes awhile. I tried to remind him that none of us that he looks at and sees the faith walk he wants, got be Chuck the first week. We usually start out like Crash. We are in pieces, we look like we hit a brick wall and we can’t play a song at all because we are not ready: yet. But if we are faithful, if we try, if we work, if we keep practicing, Carnegie hall is possible. Playing a concerto is a real goal. But if we lie on the floor in pieces, we will be useless to God or anyone else.

Proverbs 18:15 “The heart of the prudent acquires knowledge and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge.”

An instrument lying on the floor in pieces has no future. An instrument leaning against the piano won’t play either. It takes work, practice, tuning and restoring. Our faith walk is the same. Because it’s not working we don’t pick up Crash. Because we haven’t practiced we don’t sit down with Chuck. Both instruments are capable of Carnegie Hall with the right knowledge and wisdom and lots of practice. So if you know someone who lives like Crash looks, be the one who encourages them to put their life back together with the help and acquiring the wisdom proverbs talks about. In the hands of my nephew, both Chuck and Crash have the same ability to produce beautiful sound. In my hands, well, I will just stick with scales and Minuets for now.

I realize some of you are gasping with the unreal belief that there is a Christmas tree still up the end of January. Others are looking at the ornaments and wondering what they all say. Still there may be a few of you that have observed the partial shoulder and hair of someone on the extreme right. And some of you will see the crepe paper.  Very few of you are wondering, “what more can a Christmas tree do?” In our world, Christmas trees are for Christmas. A few of you over achievers, or perhaps idle hearts, prefer to keep the tree up for longer than the norm. I am one of those idle hearts. I love the beauty and the warmth of the Christmas tree. I didn’t grow up with the celebration of Christmas so I am making up for it in my “older years”.  One of our Christmas trees remain up for a long time, usually until the snow is melted. As one normally thinks, Christmas trees are for Christmas. Lights, tinsel, ornaments, bows and perhaps a star or angel top the tree. Last night, the Christmas tree became more. We went out to eat with a couple friends and came home to girls jumping out yelling ‘Happy Birthday’, and a couple hiding in the closet not sure when they should erupt with the joyous news. Streamers and banners criss crossed the walls entering the kitchen. And then there was the Christmas tree. It was there, so why not decorate it? Even the windmill on the top, alternate star option, had some crepe paper on it.

What more can your christmas tree do? I realize most of you don’t have one up anymore but we all have Christmas trees in our lives. Christmas trees represent things that are a singular focus or so we have made them that way.  Somehow, we make them a sacred cow of sorts.  We wouldn’t imagine using it for something else.  But if God gives us a Christmas tree, then God surely will put in our heart a way to transform it into others ways to enjoy and to bless people. Often we don’t serve others because we feel we don’t have anything to offer when in reality we all have Christmas trees in our kitchen just waiting to be decorated with crepe paper.  Some of you love to write cards. The old fashioned cursive on paper, envelope, stamp and mail kind of cards. Throw some crepe paper on that idea and write a note to a total stranger of encouragement. Put the note in your purse and next time you see someone who looks like they could use some crepe paper in their lives, hand them the note.   I realize that when people walk into church their body has a way of walking to the same place, walking in three steps and sitting down. What if you threw some crepe paper on that walk, turned left instead of right and sat by someone new. And just what if you then asked them to lunch when church was over?  That’s asking more than what a Christmas tree can do.  Jesus did that alot. He just went two steps beyond where the normal person stopped. Jesus listened to a few more sentences. Jesus picked up a few more children and stooped to help a few more who had fallen. Jesus had a way of doing more than what a Christmas tree can do!

We often do the expected; the norm. It’s a Christmas tree. It’s for Christmas. Get out of the box and see what more can a Christmas tree do! Look farther than the corner, listen for more than words, reach just another 6″ and turn the top book over to see what’s under it.  In a world where people are in such a hurry, leave the tree up in the corner and see what more it can do. Slow down and be intentional. Look for one more purpose for you being where God has placed you.  Exodus 33 tells us the story of Moses and Joshua at the tent of meeting. God would speak with Moses just like we would talk to each other. In this chapter, Moses returned to his tent but Joshua stayed. He didn’t leave. Joshua remained. Moses, the leader, the one who got to listen to God, walked home. Joshua found something else that a Christmas tree could do. He just stayed a bit longer where the presence of God had been. It doesn’t tell us anything else, except we know Joshua went on to do great things with God’s help.  All it tells us is that Joshua didn’t leave the tent.

So be a Joshua. Stay a bit longer and look for a reason God has for you where you are. Don’t be in a hurry to go on to the next Christmas tree in your life when there are still more things to put on the tree in front of you.  And don’t worry about what people will say. That crepe paper may be there for awhile. It will remind me that gifts come in all sizes and sizes and crepe paper on my Christmas tree is pretty special!

Grace. We sing about it. There are beautiful plaques and wall hanging that we hang in our homes. We name our girls Grace. We tell people to give more of it and we would like to receive it more often. But what is grace?  Mercy and grace go hand in hand. Except they are so different. Many use them as analogies for what God has done for us. Sometimes that gets lost in the definition. Mercy is not receiving what we deserve. I go too fast, I get stopped by the police and I get a warning. That’s mercy.

Grace is getting  a bit more complicated to where we not only don’t get what we deserve but we get extra bonus and blessing on top of what we don’t deserve.  Grace is taking your car to have the dent hammered out, (yes it seems odd they hammer a dent to make it better, or better yet plunge it out) and they not only fix the dent, but rotate the tires, change the oil, fix that one headlight that hasn’t worked for awhile and then wash, buff and clean the interior. Now that’s grace! I paid for a dent to be fixed and I got a lot more I didn’t plan on, pay for or anticipate. It puts a spring in your step and a perk in your heart without caffeine!

The catch for me, is asking God for grace when I know I deserve consequences. I keep tripping over the same problem in my heart. God keeps forgiving me and giving me added blessings to remind me that I am valued, loved and wanted.

People don’t do that well. People seem to remember what I have done and am struggling with and add fuel to the fire and squirt that burning stuff on the logs so they reignite. I need grace, they give me selective mercy with an added handful of spite.  We don’t understand mercy or grace because we don’t give it well. If we don’t know how to do something it’s hard to explain it.  I ask kids to teach me what I taught them. That tells me if they have actually learned it. To teach something you really have to “get it”. To be graceful and to live in a world of responses filled with grace, we have to understand it. So many times we give a bit of mercy but we don’t do grace. We may not give someone a ticket they deserve but we remind them how wonderful we were to them everytime we see them. And most of us, or I will just speak for myself, I don’t fix the dent, change the oil, rotate the tires, clean the interior and wash the others cars in my life. It takes too much time and energy. And yet, we come to God with the dents in our life. He hands us back a clean car, far better than we could have every imagined or dreamed and simply says “here, drive it”.

How much deeper would we affect people with the love of God if we lived the grace of God ?