Author: marettej

I take notes at funerals. I take notes about all the time actually, so it’s really no different to have my notebook, the little aqua green one out and a pen and begin writing. Actually it’s a great diversion in case I need to occupy myself but at the same time have people think I am actually interested. So, though the truth may hurt, you may not be as interesting as you think you are if I am taking notes while you are taking. Never the less, last week I had two funerals to take notes at. The first funeral had many more pages than the second. My heart was at the first with many more years of being invested in the life we were celebrating.

One of the statements made was, “We don’t see greatness cuz we get hung up on the flaws of people.”  While that is a great statement and one we should really seriously think about, I turned it the other way. I want people to not get hung up on my flaws. I want to work on them. I want to not have flaws but the flaws I have I pray fervently that people don’t stumble over them and hit the sidewalk with their chin. We are inspired by Paul not to be a stumbling block.  Romans 14:13  “Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this–not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother’s way”  So, if I rephrase that, don’t judge other people and put classifications on them. Don’t look at what they do and determine who they are although that is tempting and perhaps truthful. But rather, focus on yourself being what you don’t think others should be either. Be an example.  Yes, you have flaws. Yes, you have some pretty big things to work on however, don’t focus on your flaws and don’t let them be what others see. Look at others through Jesus eyes- see a work in progress. When people see you, let them see you loving so much that the things that may drive them nutty about you, are just things; love comes out through the holes in your character rather than the attitudes and judgments of the culture.  And mostly, look at other people and see their potential. Look at that little kid running in circles around your feet and tripping you up; look at him as chasing after God. See the little girl twirling in her beautiful skirt, and see her dancing before her heavenly father. Look at the man with the walker and see the years of life under his belt not the bent over shoulders. Buy him lunch and coffee and listen. Look at the haggard mother with three crying children; and if you haven’t had all three crying at the same time you really haven’t lived! Tell her she’s doing awesome. Offer a hand. Encourage with a smile; buy the kids a lollipop! Well, maybe not give them sugar but look at people with the eyes of Jesus not with the eyes of our human condemning spirit.  On Ruth Graham’s tombstone is a saying, “Construction finished. Thanks for being patient.” Look at everyone you encounter as a construction zone. Drive slower, look for potholes, go away from the orange cone and put your brakes on. Fines are always double in a construction zone.Think of that as you encounter people. We are all under construction! Go easy on each other! Look for the greatness; don’t search for the flaws.

I sit in reality; in 3 hours we went from 80 degrees to a balmy 18. But reality changed in other ways too. Our plans to be in Charleston, South Carolina for 3 days of ocean, warmth and relaxing changed to last minute airline ticket to Atlanta, sitting among people who I have a history with and a common love for a man who got off the train in heaven. I thought that was the simple change but never realizing that by changing plans to hang around Ashville with Tyler after the pastor at his church suddenly died, we would be in the right place at the right time.
I asked one of the reporters at the Monument in Charlotte yesterday afternoon if he remembered where he was when JFK died, or when Elvis died, or when the Challenger blew up or 911 happened? He wasn’t sure where I was going with the question since obviously most of them he wasn’t alive for. We remember big events in life; I was within 20 miles of Billy Grahams home when he died. We had just been at the Cove; the BGEA training facility near Ashville. Tuesday night, as we sat on the rocking chairs and later I knelt at the prayer circle in the Chapel, it crossed my mind… but more of a question of what Billy Grahams days were like? The waiting on the train to get off in heaven, having done so much here on earth and wondering what is coming next? I thought about it but never imagined it would be in 12 hours that he would be crossing Jordan.
We went to the Library in Charlotte, a time killer for us before we headed for the airport, but when the news broke that he had passed, we drove into media, TV stations, journalists and heavy police presence. Wow- in death you make one more statement that Jesus Christ is worth living and dying for… and free coverage at that.
I will process almost 1000 photos from our weekend. Some will be good, some will be nice and some will be awesome. I am not sure any of them will ever totally portray the emotions felt from the Friday Funeral of our dear friend Fred Miller, to the last day standing at the monument and talking to a total stranger about what faith means and how his life was different because he lived what he believed.
And then of course, eating supper before we left for the airport with friends, we were talking about the upcoming trips to Africa and a lady came over to talk. When you live, you communicate. When you communicate, you touch people’s hearts.When you show Jesus simply by being who you are, you come across as being real. Real people, touch and move other people to think about life.
I hope the words the lady said at Captain D’s, she keeps in her heart. I pray the words I said to the young man make him look not at Billy Graham, but at the God Billy Graham served. And I think it made him think… he had his questions… I had different answers than he was looking for. But in life, isn’t that what we are called to be; different?
An amazing week and all that really went amuck was the suitcase broke and I lost one of my good shoes; the right foot. So, American Airlines has my shoe somewhere between Charlotte and Mpls and I’m okay with that. I might even keep the left one as a reminder of the eventful week. I could put flowers in it or use it as a picture frame holder… Regardless, I will never forget February 15-February 21 of 2018…

We are in the south while the north has an ice form. Part of me wishes I were back home helping Baihley with the horses and dogs and life on the farm. The other part of me says, it’s warm here! Enjoy! Walking through Asheville yesterday we came upon the wall. The wall is close to the double decker bus, which reminds me of England, and close to one of my favorite stores. The wall is about twenty five feet long and looks just like the above photo. People write with chalk, erase others writings, share their thoughts, amuse the world but mostly I think it makes people think. Some of the things people want to do, before they die, are simple. Some are world changing, some are heart rending and some just make you giggle. We came south and I went to two funerals. One, Fred, had done much before he died. Changed many people’s worlds, lived in many different cultures and lived many people. He knew his time was close. The second funeral was of someone who didn’t have a clue he was at his end. Before I die, should perhaps be revised to, while I am still living I will… I have been so disappointed in people who quit living before they quit breathing. No more bucket lists, no goals, no marathons to run, no places to visit but more importantly, no people’s lives to change. For is we live simply to make our own lives better, we have failed in the biggest commandment God gave us. Galatians 6:10 reminds us that, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith. So before I die, I need to love people, care for people, listen to people, send notes to people, call people, pay for someone’s lunch, pay for the schooling for a child in Africa, send a missionary to Haiti, go see aunt pearl, play the piano for the nursing home, pack a blessing basket; get the point. Not just before I die, but while I am yet living. While I have determined in my heart it’s not about me, I need to reach out to others. That’s not necessarily doing things that make me happy, but things that show others what God is doing in my heart while I am still living. And mostly, I need to determine in my heart when I live, Christ lives in me. So not before I die, but while I am still living, Lord let me really live. And a living plant produces fruit. Lord, let me just be putting out fruit: apples, oranges, pineapple and bananas…. and may it be that there are so many bananas that we have to make banana bread.

Normally, funerals aren’t fun. Normally funerals are short. We had this little debate driving to the cemetery. Someone mentioned one of the speakers spoke too long. I said, nay nay. I would have felt cheated if I had worked to get all the way out to Atlanta and it been a ten minute funeral, my kids went to docs funeral a few years ago. It was 92 minutes long. The kids kept track. But they also said it was one of the coolest things. We learned so much. We laughed a lot. We cried a bit. We lived almost 93 years. A life well lived should take awhile to remember. Friday was a day of mixed emotions. It was a day of chaos in some ways…all the work that it takes to live and get around depending on rental cars and friends. But the hugs, the bugs we got from the hugs, the memories, the eyes of an old friend and the hearts that bonded were priceless. Sitting and sharing with friends their faith walk, their present life, their goals, their dream; perhaps it was Gods way of saying slow down and listen to others hearts for awhile.

The celebration service was what challenged me to live a life worth the days Gods given me. Live; don’t be stagnant. Find people to mentor where you are at. Invest in others. Love people even if it means you may love them wrong or hurt their feelings. Love people. Love God. Be passionate about knowing what you believe. Sacrifice to help others take a step to improve themselves. See hearts not skin, see the gleam in their eye not fear. Possess what God has given you. Don’t just own it, possess it. Care for your talents, developed them and give em to others. See in people potential and help develop it. Introduce others to the great physician and let him make something of their lives. Watch others grow and be the fertilizer so they grow strong and healthy. Call. Send letters. Stay in touch. Love much. When we were at the cemetery one of the things we were challenged to bury with the body of the man we so highly respected was grudges, unforgiveness, complaining, hatred and ill will. Be a man/women of God who is to all people, all things. Be to the child, an example to follow. Be to the teenager a mentor, be to the young mom, an encourager, be to the poor, a helping hand but one who rises them up not puts them down. To the lonely, be a friend, to the ones on the edges, be an included. But most of all what I heard on Friday was to life your life worthy of the days God gives you in is earth. If he gives you many, be worth many things of which to glorify God, if he gives you a few, make every moment count so that others see Gods glory in you. We have a saying in the horse world, ride like you stole it. In the spiritual world, Love like you don’t have tomorrow. Live a life worthy of the breaths you will be given. And live them full speed ahead with heaven on your gps.

Simple they said. Just fly thru Chicago. Yes, friends are flying on that flight; we will be together and have a fun time. Simple they said. That’s what plans are. Simply that; plans. And yet as I sit and wait for another flight as I would have missed my connecting flight, I marvel that it all actually works . Plans that is. We make plans and assume that they actually are going to work out like we think. As I ponder the thins going through my head, it’s the amusement of the situation that has the smiles coming. Fred…my friend I am going to honor his life at his celebration service would have said, bring it on. What’s life with a few ruts gravel road and potholes on the side. What’s life without plans going totally amuck and having to rearrange your life. What’s life without an adventure? We all tend to think we want life to go by…neatly and without a wrinkle in our apron. And what is the basic essence of memories? What went wrong, and what we learned to laugh at along the way. We make plans and God smoothly rearranges our plans so we look for the sweet giggles and treasure the moments of chaos. We will treasure them. Maybe not today. I have been sitting in an airport for many hours now. I will go to Houston. I didn’t know I wanted to go to Houston. I will then hopefully hop on another flight for Atlanta. Such a simple plan… such a different outcome. So obviously God didn’t want our simple plan to work. He could have just said that earlier. This weekend could be an adventure. Hearts forgotten about, friends lost in the midst of lives that went different directions and memories… many many memories. God blesses out hearts and sometimes he works in unique ways. If I only look for the beauty along the sidewalks I am walking instead of tripping over the broken concrete. If only I smile at the mom and her baby. If only I spend a few minutes just resting in him and not worrying about me…