2024 Devotions

Peace

I leave things! Some would say I am forgetful, I choose to say I leave things. Well, I do forget things also. Where I left them I can’t remember. At the time, there was a purpose and a reason. At the time I knew where I placed them. When the moment comes that I need them, my memory fails me, or did it leave me too.
Jesus left things! That makes me feel better. He left things intentionally, with a purpose and he said he would be leaving what he left. John 14 is similar to the notes I would leave the kids when they had a day off school but teachers had to go. I left them with a detailed list. A list so that they would have something to do. Detailed so I wasn’t getting phone calls asking what I meant, or getting home and they didn’t do it because they didn’t know what I meant. Of course they wouldn’t think to ask dad. No: that would have been logical.
Jesus says in John 14 that the Holy spirit is coming. That creates excitement but that’s not what he left with us. Jesus left us peace! Back in the day when you left someone, it was customary to say “Shalom” which means peace. Jesus didn’t just say he was leaving “peace”, he said he was leaving “my peace.” Perhaps it’s like this. I am supposed to bring dessert to Christmas Eve. No worries: I got a plan. But if I told my family I was bringing mother’s chocolate cake recipe, the hype would rise considerably. Mother’s chocolate cake with her fudge frosting: now that’s a cake!!!!
Peace is peace until it’s Jesus peace. Then it’s a whole different level of peace. The peace that Jesus gives eliminates fear, panic and anger from the heart. Jesus, the maker of peace, has a whole different level of control since he is the creator and is in control of all life.
As we walk into the next week of life, don’t settle for my dessert when you can have my mother’s chocolate cake! Don’t settle for peace written on a pretty ornament when you can have Jesus peace!!! Big difference!!!!

The week before!

The “week before”. I remember the “week before” moments leading up to my birthday when I was a kid. It was a countdown to the best cake I have ever eaten: chocolate with white fluffy frosting. I remember the “week before” our wedding. My sister came up and we all went to Valleyfair. That’s when I found out my future husband couldn’t hold his cookies on the Octopus ride. I remember the “week before” our first child was born. The last appointment and the anticipation. The “week before” moments in life are full is suspense. What will happen? What cards will come in the mail? Will I find that perfect gift I haven’t bought yet? The week before” moments in life teach us to wait. I don’t like to wait. Waiting is wasted energy when we could be wallowing in the moment. Instead, we wait. Waiting builds our wonder and increases our imagination. Sometimes that’s good. Sometimes that’s dangerous. When I have time to wonder, I create challenges for Jim with my ideas. I call it my creativity brewing moments. He calls it more work.

The “week before” Christmas tends to include Christmas programs, school parties, work socials and the beginning of the Christmas sales. What if we used the “week before” moments of Christmas as reflective rather than accumulative? Rather than becoming part of the rock rolling down hill picking up speed, sit back in wonder and watch. Watch the Christmas tree lights and be grateful. Drive around and see the nativity scenes and marvel at the uniqueness of creativity. Ring the bells and smile at strangers. Let the “week before” tenderize your heart. Sometimes in our busy world we go along with the speed of the throng rather than match our steps to the master. Jesus seemed to be slowly intentional. He went out of his way to meet people, sat on the edges of wells to talk, and washed feet. Washing feet isn’t something you do when you are in a hurry. It’s the “week before” things you do while you are waiting that focus your eyes on the real reason for Christmas. Wait with purpose! Make the waiting moments beautiful. In a culture that hurries and countdowns in anticipation, live the “week before” moments to their fullest. The time will pass in exactly the same minutes and hours but you will have tasted the sweetness rather than gulped down the pie without chewing!

Ecclesiastes 3:12-13. “So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can.” Loosely translated, “The week before moments in life are precious: enjoy them. God will teach you some beautiful things when you seize today’s day, rather than pace the floor waiting for tomorrow.”

The silent dagger in the heart.

When I was a kid, there were many times when I was referred to as the daughter of my parents by name. Oh, you’re Dana and Lavonne’s daughter. I’m not sure it moved my world, but it did give me a few “act better” moments. Zechariah and Elizabeth are introduced in Luke by throwing around their father’s family names. Abijah and Aaron: it can’t get much better than that. They are described as ” Both of them were righteous in the sight of God, observing all the Lord’s commands and decrees blamelessly.” They didn’t seem to need a reminder of how their ancestors, were to behave. When you do all the right things, there are perks. Not for them. They had the best pedigree and behaved and yet were, childless. To be childless was the silent dagger to the heart. We read of six women in the Bible whose stories we read, whose struggles are real, and whose prayers were answered. We don’t read of the many more who felt shame, cried themselves to sleep, and begged God for a child. Society at that time placed emphasis on the heir. In a society where there were often two wives, the one who wasn’t having children had to endure the heartache of watching another bear, nurse, love, and embrace a baby. Babies are irresistible. That is, until you don’t have one. Then, it’s the silent dagger to the heart. I am amazed at Elizabeth. She did something I am not sure I could do. After learning she was pregnant, she spent five months in seclusion. She kept quiet. She didn’t have a baby shower, and didn’t send out save-the-date baby announcements. She spent time with God, marveling at what the Lord had done for her.

We can learn a lesson about pain, patience, and promises. Too often, we scream our pain loudly, whine about being patient, and tell God he is too slow with his promises. We don’t take the time to marvel over “what God has done” as much as we “tell” everybody. Some of those “everybodies”, have been waiting for years for the answer to their prayer, which is what God is giving us.

There is a beauty when the heart ponders God alone. Perhaps she needed those dagger scars to heal slowly. Maybe it was just such a special answer that her time with God was more important than her sharing with others. One of the words she uses is “shown his favor” in her answer. A few short verses later we read about Mary finding favor with God.

How can I see those around me trying to heal from daggers to the heart? The angel told Mary about Elizabeth. It says she hurried to see Elizabeth. We have a testimony. Others are waiting and watching to see how we walk through the dagger of the heart moments where we think few if any understand the steps we are finding ourselves taking.

Be willing to share with others the daggers that have been a part of your story so someone else can hurry to talk to you. Be a mentor, be open, be willing and be waiting. 32 years ago, when we went through the death of our baby, I did not have someone to hurry to. Very few told their story. In the past 32 years, God has allowed me many opportunities to speak about the daggers of my heart. It does several things, but two are crucial. I reminds me of how God walked with me every step of our journey when our baby died. But it also gives other women hope to see how someone else made it through the other side of infertility, miscarriage, or losing a baby. As beautiful as the story of Zechariah and Elizabeth is, I stay focused on the intentionality of Eliazbeth’s mentoring of Mary when both their hearts had things to talk about. What a beautiful way to be found in favor of God; loving others.

Take good care of her.

We sat at Burger King, far away from home, getting a quick bite. I noticed them right away. An elderly couple were sitting across from us. They looked like the “normal” old people, if I can assert that there is a normal look to old people. I have to be careful, as I am inching closer all the time to the old people’s cliff if not already starting down it. I heard a few of the comments the older man was making. I almost stopped eating. My heart hurt for him and her. He kept reminding her she needed to finish her food. She didn’t really seem interested. He came at it a different way. My mind had a flashback to all the times I sat with friends, with parents, with people at the nursing homes and watched dementia change the way we all eat Whoppers in life. It’s not pretty, it’s not nice, and it’s not easy. God didn’t really ask us if we wanted pretty, nice, or easy. He places our tray in front of us and expects us to figure it out.
They stood up to leave, and I automatically smiled at the lady. She came over and said, “We’ve been married 57 years.” I had to giggle. Not because being married that long is funny, but he looks at her and says, “58”. We chatted small talk. He said she was from south of town, and he grew up in Fall Branch. I threw out a name, someone I knew who lived in Fall Branch, and he nodded. Of course, he would know. Small towns are neat for knowing everyone who ever lived in an area. She then turned to stroll back a different way, and he diverted her attention, and they headed for the door. I caught his eye again and said, “Take care of her.” He looked at me and said, “She has dementia.” I nodded and said, “I know- take good care of her.” He smiled and took her hand to lead her out of Burger King.
There is a lot of life in that smile. Within that smile, there is a lot of not pretty, not nice, and not easy. Yet in those 58 years, many beautiful blessings kept him taking her hand, getting her in the car, and coming to Burger King. It will be one of the special moments I will remember, and every time I drive by a Burger King, I will pray God gives him what he needs to get through each day, help him lovingly repeat many phrases, and get her to Burger King for a whopper once in a while! 

Rear View Living

I could see it quite clearly. I was free to look, ponder, think about, and reminisce. Jim, well, to be truthful, I didn’t want him to. We were coming through the mountains of lower Kentucky, enjoying the “kind of mountains.” I could see the sunset in the rearview mirror. It was beautiful. I didn’t even tell Jim to look. I wanted him to be watching the road in front of him. Even though it was beautiful, it wasn’t something to linger watching.
Life. I have watched people looking so long in the rearview mirrors or the side mirrors of their lives that they mess up what’s in front of them. They seem to be fixated on what’s behind them. Perhaps it was a beautiful sunset. Maybe it was a sadness. Often, it’s regret. The rearview mirrors and side mirrors grab at our hearts, and we keep looking back. Especially with the ridiculous traffic jams through the pass, we would have had a few fender benders if he, the driver, looked back more than he was looking forward. As beautiful or traumatic as the past is, glancing can remind us of where we have come from, but it won’t help us see what’s ahead if we fixate on it. The trouble with our humanity is the glancing. Isaiah 43:18-19
“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”
Consider the things that grow us, that are ahead of us, that make us more like Jesus, and that don’t give us fender benders cuz we need to look in the right direction. The past is to be learned from but not allowed to be a noose around your neck. Here is a quote: Don’t stumble upon something behind you. Perhaps better rephrased, Don’t keep looking in your rearview mirror, or you will damage what’s in front of you.

The excitement of cleaning.

I found myself thinking crazy the other day. I was cleaning. I was enjoying cleaning. I had the music playing, the mops going, the rags wiping, and the dust flying. Well, maybe not flying dust, but I was having fun cleaning. Either I have lost my ever-loving mind, or something else is happening. That is not my natural aptitude for cleaning. I was cleaning at the lake. It’s always more fun at the lake. But the bigger part of cleaning was because friends were coming. I wanted it to be clean for them. It was fun because I could envision them enjoying their time with clean bedding, windows, countertops, and a clean floor. It was almost, well, nearly exciting!
What if I was that excited to clean my heart when I am going to share it with someone? What if I grabbed some cleaner, checked the windows in the light, looked in the corners, and got the cobwebs down, anticipating someone’s checking out my intentions, my focus, or my heart?
And then, it was the Debbie Downer of the day. God knows where all the dust bunnies are. He knows where I swept stuff under the carpet and moved a rug over the spot on the floor rather than get on my hands and knees and scrub. God sees the fingerprints on the windows and knows how long it’s been since I cleaned the legs of the chairs. God doesn’t care. Well, God cares, but He loves me anyway. He loves me anyway. He walks behind me, cleans up my messes, wipes down the countertop, and picks up the grapes falling on the floor. Because of grace, I don’t have to be sure my life is spotless. Yes, I will clean, and yes, I will make sure the garbage of my life gets taken out, but He loves me because He made me. God loves me, fingerprints on the windows and all. Now other people, I just hope they come to visit me, not the immaculate house! Of course they are coming to see me, because the word immaculate really isn’t a part of my vocabulary.
1 Timothy 4:12 ” Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. ” Perhaps my version would be, “Don’t let anyone look down on you because there is dog hair on the floor, a few crumbs on the counter, and smears on the windows, but set an example of loving people. Then they will see your heart, not the house.”

My heart stood still the other day. I am unsure how often this has happened, but it is few enough to count on one hand. No, my heart didn’t stop. No drama, pacemakers, or EMT’s required because my heart stood still rather than stopped. There is a difference.

I had the honor of watching my first grandchild enter the world. My heart stood still. It was as if God just said, “Hang here for a bit; this will be a precious memory.”

The next time my heart stood still was when I picked up an almost three-week-old little girl named Addie.

Four months ago, I kissed the face of a little one they call Lucy. Moments where one’s heart stands still are precious, few and far between.

My heart stood still

On Saturday morning, thousands of miles from home, my heart stood still again. I was at a keyboard somewhere in western Washington State, playing and singing with old friends. It’s hard to sing in the present when one’s mind goes back decades. I remember when the Richards family first pulled into our farm in Minnesota in 1972, to be exact. Our paths crossed, crisscrossed, and tangled up throughout the years in Nebraska, then Washington. One of those tangled moments, I left with a guitar much nicer than the one I was playing at the time, gifted to me by Gary. Our discussions often began with Gary saying, “I can’t tell you what to do, but if you were my daughter.” Years of relationship led to sitting at a keyboard in an Assisted Living Home in Cashmere, WA, singing the old hymns. Back in the day, Gary would have been in front leading, and I would have played the piano during church or a revival meeting. Time changes. Churches no longer have revival meetings, keyboards have replaced pianos, and not many places sing old hymns. I knew this was one of the moments that God would want me to “Hang here for a bit; this will be a precious memory.” I wasn’t on the way to Cashmere, WA. I had to go there intentionally. But that’s what one does when one is a friend. There is beauty in being together and doing nothing but visiting. Phone calls are okay, but it can’t compare to sitting in the lazy boy and catching up. Two hearts can talk about many things when putting a puzzle together. It took 2 days, but Barb and I finished it! If everyone had people in their lives where their hearts are safe, our world would be a much better place. Until you risk loving others, you will never have the moments when the heart stands still. When God allows your heart to stand still, he says, “Hang here for a bit; this will be a precious memory.”

Under the Fog

I came up over the first hill leaving my hotel and saw this! Breathtaking! Though I had no clue what was below the fog, the fog was where I was going. The people I was here to be loved on, were under the fog. As I drove the visual of the mountains gradually left me and I was totally surrounded by a thickness that seemed unpenetrable. As I got out of my car to go into the building, there was nothing but haze, moisture and dimmed light. Did it matter? No, because where I was going was more important than the surrounding momentary fog. I knew the mountains were above me, eventually the fog would lift and their beauty would be waiting for me to admire.
God puts beauty in front of my heart and then says, I want you to stay in the fog for awhile. Because He asks me to stay in the fog, it’s okay just as the people I wanted to be with were in the fog, I was willing to be there with a grateful heart.
Some of me wants just the beauty of the mountains, the things that I see that are shiny. Some of me wants to always be in the sunshine and let the glimmer of the leaves spark my imagination. God knows that I will still have those moments but there are times I am needed in the fog. Though I may not see the evidence of God in the fog, I know God is still as big as the mountains. Because God loves me and knows what I need, the things He places in the fog areas of my life move my heart in ways the sunshine does not always do.
Later in the day, we headed up the canyon and the sun was out. Breathtaking! As we drove up the mountains, the fog came, and the rain fell, it deepened the beauty rather than made it depressing. God does that. When He walks us through foggy times in our life, what He allows, He beautifies, if we choose to see it that way. Even the foggy photos are dramatic. I need to remind myself that God has love and mercy waiting for me beneath and among every foggy valley. When I embrace those moments, He will not only sweeten those moments but show me beauty is in the eye of the creator when I look with the eyes of my heart!

1 Corinthians 13:12 “We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!”

The magical catch.

It’s something I love: football. It doesn’t matter if I am listening or watching. I am sure there are better sports I could love and you can try to persuade me that ping pong is a more Christian sport and you could be right but I enjoy football. We were poor, well we thought we were, as kids, but somehow my dad had season tickets to the Vikings. I always had the Chicago Bears game. It was a wonderful magical day even though we were high in the bleachers of Met stadium, outdoors in Minnesota and proud to wear lots of warm clothes and sit on hard benches. Late night driving on a weekend finds me tuning in to a game on Sirius “, it’s like a comfort food for some odd reason.
So last night, Thursday night football, was on but I wasn’t really engaged. That was until “the catch “. It was a pass from Rodgers to Wilson, and an unbelievable catch! They kept replaying it over and over: each time the eyes were drawn to the catch, fall and where the body landed!
Yesterday I sat in the Minnesota Adult and Teen Chalenge graduation ceremony applauding a young gal I mentor. I listened to the stories and testimonies of the graduates and they slightly resembled the game last night. The game was a combination of bad plays, dropped balls, mishandled snaps, yellow flags and unsportsmanlike calls. But something happened at halftime. The game turned. Mn Teen challenge became the halftime to these young people’s lives. God becoming a part of their life plan, changed their game plan, just as the coach’s changed something during halftime in the locker room last night. Then, that one magical catch. It changed the game!
As each graduate gave their testimony, there was that one moment, that defining step, that play that went according to Gods plan that turned their life around.
The replay of the Wilson catch from Rodgers will be all over the sports world today.
Likewise, today graduates, and their families, are lives that have been changed by altering who is calling the plays in their life. Each one of them have a few magical plays, God , chaplains, counselors and friends helped them score the touchdown in their life. They will replay, retell and give their testimony many times of their magical catch. God helped them make the biggest catch of their life so far to change the outcome of their game of life.
I know, it’s just a game you say. Choose to live life in a way that gives God the opportunities to help you make magical moments that others will see over and over.
You can bet there will be young football players trying to catch the ball one handed because Wilson did. There will be people who are touched by the six young people yesterday who changed their game plan with the help of God! That’s the game that really matters in this game called life.

I wonder if Jesus… docked the boat?

I wonder if Jesus ever helped dock the boat. Seriously, I wonder! Of course, there were 12 others, if we take it literally, that they only had the disciples in the boat. They had fished for years and landed many boats at the dock. Of course, it’s probably a ridiculous question, but yesterday it came to my mind.

It’s that time of year when the boat comes out of the lake. We hope the boat only comes out in the fall. If it comes out other times, there is usually a problem. We are grateful for the beautiful day and the calm waters, and we could have used Jesus.

If you have ever worked with another person on something, then you know two opinions mean someone is probably right and the other person is left in the boat. There wasn’t a question of who would drive the boat across the lake to the boat landing. Nor was there a question about who would back the boat and the trailer into the water at the landing. I got on the boat, started it up, backed away from the dock, and began the peaceful drive across the lake. It was a beautiful day. No one else was on the lake. Most people took boats and docks out a couple weeks ago. I love driving across the lake, watching the clouds change, seeing the leaves and the trees changing, and getting a glimpse of God’s creativity. Then, the inevitable: the docking. I still have flashbacks of baling hay with my father and the interesting hand signals that seemed to indicate something; I just had no idea what. I took that experience into marriage. There are times, and a few too many to mention, that Jim is motioning me to do something with a truck, a tractor, or the boat, and it’s like pulling a wild idea off the shelf because none of his gestures resemble what he said earlier I should do.

We have been married for 36 years. In those 36 years, I have learned many things. One important lesson is that giving up is the wise part of success. I pulled over by the shore, and he crawled up on the pontoon and took the wheel. We (Jim) loaded the boat (docked it on the trailer) without bad attitudes, poorly chosen words, or unmet expectations.

I still wonder if Jesus ever helped dock the boat. That would have been an exciting conversation. Peter would have been the hand signaler, Thomas would have questioned if that was the right way to turn, John would have calmed everyone down, reminding them to love each other through this ordeal, and Luke would have had the first aid kit out.

And then Jesus would have winked, and they would be at land, docked, and the motor already up! Yes, I still wonder if Jesus ever helped dock the boat.

Don’t worry

It was clear and crisp this morning when I walked the dogs. Well, to be truthful, I wasn’t walking dogs. I was merely following along behind them to be sure they didn’t “smell” something and head north. The corn is out of the fields and there is nothing to prevent them from adventuring, except my calling their name several times, sounding more authoritative each time. If they had three names, I would be using all three!

I have Baihley’s two dogs for the week. Why might you ask? I am not sure I have a good answer, except I’m the grandmog (Grandma to dogs) and she is on another adventure, and I need someone to watch Hogan in a few weeks. Plus, they snuggle really well at night.

I lost track of the dogs because I heard a freight train coming. We are a mile from the track but the freight train I heard wasn’t on the ground and it wasn’t a mile away. The birds were on the fly. I am not sure if that is a saying or not, but it is now. The sky was filled with birds, the sound of their wings, the chatter, if birds chatter, the rush of them all together, and actually it was pretty cool. Just when I thought they were gone, another rush of wings flew over. I stood and marveled.

Why do I worry? Why did so much of my prayer time this morning consist of asking God to protect, care for, call back to, and protect the ones I love? The birds. They are simply birds.

“Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.” Matthew 6:25-26

I watched the birds’ flit here and there high above the bins and the buildings, weaving their way to somewhere, not worrying about a thing. They didn’t go to Hy-Vee and grab groceries. They didn’t carry them to the house and put them away. They just flit and fly and weave their way to somewhere totally confident that their needs will be supplied.

Why do I worry? The birds don’t worry, nor do they care if they share some of their inner most feelings all over my car as they fly over. “Look at the birds, yet your heavenly Father feeds them.” Yet again I ask myself the question that Jesus answered in the first few words, “do not worry about your life”. They are simply birds and yet what a powerful reminder for me.

Hard Ground and Hard Hearts

It’s not doing anything, the big four wheel drive tractor and ripper parked by the cornfield. There is nothing wrong with it. In fact I just brought home two new batteries from the Case IH store the other day. Ironically they were bigger than any battery I have ever seen. The ripper is ready to go. The big four wheel tractor is hooked and they make quite the team. They are not, however, doing anything! The ground is too hard. Usually it’s raining during harvest or even worse, snowing. The rain/snow makes the ground greasy for the combines and trucks. There have been a few fields we have to load and unload on the side roads as the semi can’t get out of the field loaded because it’s too heavy and the ground is too wet.
We haven’t had rain for over 2 months. The ground is hard, harder and hardest. Yes, I know that is poor grammar but it says it best.
What do we do? Nothing! We have another two weeks at least of picking corn. Maybe we will be done by the end of October. In 1991, the trucks followed the combine and the big ripper followed behind as the great Minnesota Ice storm hit.
But we go back to the question, what will we do?
Wait. Wait for rain. Wait for the ground to be softened so the rippers can do their job.
Spiritually there are some lessons to learn. There are some people whose hearts are hard. We tend to grab a hammer and chisel and go at them. God would prefer we wait for rain. Perhaps better said, God would prefer we prepare for rain. Preparing for rain means you are ready when it comes. Preparing also means you don’t jeopardize the ground or the equipment before it’s able to be used. Reworded, don’t jeopardize the hearts that are hard by making it worse with harsh words, threats, comparisons or drama. Love the hard heart around you. Be kind. Be understanding. Be ready when God sends the rain that will soften the heart. The Holy spirits chisel is so much more effective than our attempts to do his job! God may also make some changes in your heart while you wait, pray and prepare. That could be the bigger part of the hard hearts around us: how our witness shines. Is it the soft light of a candle or the harsh bright floodlight that blinds everyone. Waiting is often how God reminds us, it’s not about us!

Sometimes you just need someone to hold the tools.

Finding the right arms
I get easily distracted in church and this morning it was such a precious moment that I know God is okay with it!
He was cute! Most little kids are but this toddler was cute. It was during the singing, that I noticed him working his way from other aisle toward our side. He pushed his way through three sets of jeans, tugging at one of them and looking up at their faces, then kept on stepping on toes as he made his way through the crowded row. When he got to the man in front of us, it was obvious that he had a focus: finding the right arms. The guy in front of me made an attempt to pick him up but he spurned his advances. That wasn’t who he wanted and he relayed that message pretty strongly as he made the last step and grabbed the blue jeans of the tallest man in the row. I watched as he looked up at the elderly gentleman, (okay the man was probably my age). The toddlers eyes were glowing and he was giggling. As grandpa lifted him, he snuggled into his shoulder, he looked at me as if to say, “ I’ve got the right arms.”
I don’t want to offend people as step over their toes and bump their legs as I wander through life. I don’t want to be considered rude as I shake my head when others make offers to be a substitutes for who I am seeking.
Lord let me seek you, not be distracted by the jeans and shoes that kind of look like yours, let me seek the eyes and arms that belong to you! Let me settle for nothing less! And I hope I smile just as big as that little boy this morning. It was a beautiful moment!

Sometimes, it just takes someone to hold the tools. It was another trip to the field with parts. I had just taken lunch and was returning home when I got the “call.” It’s not like a calling on your life for ministry, it’s not like a calling as a passion to create, it’s the “call” from the husband that he needs parts. I went home, thankfully, where he said the parts were, they were. This time, he said, “Bring the truck,” which meant you were driving through the growth that had a driveway underneath it and out through the field to the combine.
It’s an easy fix, or so they said. It wasn’t a two-man job, but sometimes, you need someone else to hold the tools.
What if we went around looking for someone who needs a tool holder? Often, we can do the job ourselves, but having someone else holding a tool, just being there, makes all the difference in the world. Ecclesiastes 4:9, says, “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor.” Maybe I could rephrase Solomon’s verse to reflect our world on the farm.
“Two are better than one because sometimes you just need someone to hold the tools.”

Words

Words. We use them, need help with which ones to use, mispronounce them, and use them out of context, yet words are how we communicate. Take the word “buffet”. I have one, my grandmother’s, and I don’t like to do it: discipline or train myself! The same word has totally different meanings. For some of us, the Ocean Star Buffet that we love to eat at has yet a different definition of buffet.
According to Vocabulary.com, “
The two meanings of buffet come from very different sources. The self-serve meal buffet — from 18th-century French and pronounced buh-FAY — is named after a piece of furniture, bufet (“sideboard”), on which such a meal might be served. The meaning of hitting, however, comes from the Old French word bufe, “a blow” or “a puff of wind,” and is pronounced BUH-fit. If the wind buffets the windows of your house, it can make them rattle in their frames, and if you are buffeted by bad news, you might shake in your shoes.”
1 Corinthians 9:27 has always puzzled me until I started using other versions. “but I buffet my body and bring it into bondage: lest by any means, after that I have preached to others, I myself should be rejected” (ASV). What makes so much more sense to me are versions that use words such as discipline, train, or control my body. The end of the verse makes more sense when we look at the effects of eating at a buffet and not choosing to stop.
Buffets make money on me. I know when to stop, but I also decided to quit. Sometimes, we know when to stop something, discipline ourselves, or train our “no,” but we choose not to. Then, one of the other definitions could be used to show our out-of-control life that makes us shake in the wind or blow us around because of our lack of self-control.
The end of the verse talks about consequences, but it also leads us to see and be reminded that it’s not about us. Everything we do in life is an example to others. If we tell others what to do and do not live out that advice, we are like 1 Corinthians 13 says, “sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.” I might also include a loud foghorn in that.
We spent some time recently on the eastern Canadian shores and heard many fog horns. Especially coming across the bay on the big CAT, and I perhaps timed it, the foghorn blew every 3 minutes. Foghorns are for a purpose: safety during the fog. When the foghorn blows for no reason or fog, it becomes useless to draw attention when needed. Our lives, out of control and not being an example, are worthless when we try to tell others what to do that, we don’t do ourselves. It’s like telling kids to clean up their room when yours resembles a hurricane. Telling a child to finish their peas when their dad didn’t take any and wouldn’t eat them if he did. (Sorry- I got a bit personal there).
Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “What you do speaks so loudly, I cannot hear what you say.”
Think about what you do. Is it congruent with what you say? Are you disciplining yourself one way and living a different? Are your words true words, words that challenge, and words that love? Words. We use them, need help with which ones to use, mispronounce them, and use them out of context, yet words are often how we witness to others. Choose them wisely and live them well! However, a well-supplied buffet is a wonderful thing to enjoy!

Words can make you look ugly!

It seems I was a captive audience although by default. I am on a boat, a ferry to be exact and we are watching the miles of waves go by. That’s not the captive part. I was sitting by a very upset and angry woman. Of course I listened: I couldn’t help it. She was not going to be quiet and she wasn’t happy. I had to change my seat angle just to see what she looked like. I won’t describe her physical image but her unhappy words, her accusatory heart and her angry countenance hasn’t made her someone one may desire to look at.
I gathered, from the conversation, he sat in the wrong chair so she had her back to the window. That’s what I gathered was his first mistake and I am assuming this has been a pattern of years of him not doing something “right”. She didn’t let it die. They moved seats again, but she kept on going. She chose the seats this time!
He didn’t get many words in. Part of me wanted to wave my hands and say, “end of round 3- five minute break.” Part of me wanted to hear what the next round was. Most of me just wanted the fight to end. She was a quiet, angry word processor! It was quiet enough- but I heard! The longer it went, the less he said until finally her headphones went on and she was lost in her phone.
Then, it abruptly started up again, except I heard from him- “I’m sorry, I told you I was sorry.”
She isn’t letting it go. Give her credit for longevity!
Lord,rather than thank you for the boat I am on, do I gripe at you because of the seat?
Lord, do I speak words that are kind or do I mutter words I think only a few hear? Is my countenance drawning people to me or does it repel?
Hers is an angry, twisted face. She might be beautiful, but anger makes one ugly. Lord I don’t want to be ugly to anyone with my words or my insinuating another is too dumb to know how to choose where to sit.
Lord, I will never know what started the anger in the heart but I do know what it looked like coming out. Keep my heart soft, my words kind, my eyes loving and my behind in whatever chair is the closest! The way this ship is rocking, I may end up sitting where I didn’t intend to if I don’t hold the rails.

Excuses

I am as good or as bad as Moses! Of course, if you compare the parting of the Red Sea, or the water from the rock, I can’t hold a handle but, I didn’t do what Moses did and I am really good at excuses.
Exodus 3, Moses was on a roll. Seven, no less, seven excuses as why he couldn’t do what God asked. Here is where I am not quite as bad. The most I have ever come up with is 5 excuses. Don’t want to, don’t have time, don’t have the ability, can’t commit right now and the best, don’t feel God calling me to do it.
The reality is that it’s not about Moses and Marette’s it’s about God. As Moses gave his great list of “7”, slowly God emptied Moses of himself. Finally exhausting all his excuses, God says now I can use you Moses cuz now it’s all on me.
That gives me hope and scares me. God will take my “5” and utterly destroy them. When he gets done with my attitude of wanting or not wanting to, the reality that time is in Gods hands not on my calendar, realigning what ability is and who gave it, my fear of committing to something that might change my heart and my plugged ears to not hear God calling, when I am lying on the ground totally spilled out, then God says, ”now.”
Now that God has my attention, and there is nothing like getting attention when you are face first on the ground, God will equip me. When God equips me, my hands are much fuller and I am better prepared than when I get ready for the upcoming plan laid out from my angle. When empty of self confidence and self dependence, God finally has something to work with!

Just sow, then water: let God do the rest!

It’s that time on the farm when we sit! Actually that’s not true, but it’s the time when we are done with all we can do: it’s grow time. Slowly harvest equipment is getting checked over and getting ready to start the long but rewarding moments , if you can call two months of constant work 24-7 rewarding! Yet it’s not the moments that are rewarding it’s what we are harvesting that we pray will be rewarding. This year with beyond abundant rain and not as much heat, it’s always that wondering and waiting to see what we do reap .
1 Corinthians 3:6 takes away those wondering moments. It basically says, you plant but you won’t reap! Actually it says,
“I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow.”
That phrase gives me a different framework for why I do what I do! Not the farming: actually I don’t do much except give the farmer rides, feed him and wash his clothes, but this verse refocuses my heart on not looking for the end result before God wants me to see it.
I like results. I like to know that what I am doing, is worth doing. I am kind of selfish that way but Paul is reminding me that focusing on the wrong thing will get me frustrated which in turn will frustrate others.
Perhaps I need to reframe my heart to encourage those ones who are sowing but not seeing the harvest. Then I need to remind myself to be grateful when I get the bounty of another persons prep, planning and planting. Sometimes I find myself worried it will grow, whatever it was that I planted! God will handle the growth if I simply plant. And when someone else reaps from my hard work, I pray they are thankful I stepped ahead of them.
Lord refocus my heart to do what you call me to do and not spend all my time getting the combine ready! You will handle the harvest if I plant what you put in my heart to plant and water it as you always do.

Who do I need to forgive, then feed?

Who do I need to forgive, then feed? Peter, I really like Peter. Jesus, I really love the way he handles the moments in life that are awkward! It’s a challenge for me! John 21 tells us where the heart of Jesus is: all about being love in awkward situations. Peter denied Christ. not once, not twice but three times. The disciples are fishing when Jesus makes an appearance. I love fishing but it’s other things that I find myself doing when I run into people who have hurt me. Perhaps not denied me, but stabbed me behind my back, told stories that weren’t true in an effort to make themselves look better.
I don’t like awkward. I don’t enjoy uncomfortable moments and I really don’t enjoy mistruths and lies aimed in my directions. I don’t do as good as Jesus. In an awkward encounter, Jesus showed hospitality in a whole new level: he fed his offender and loved him in spite of! In awkward situations I try to hide, or at least find someone bigger to stand behind so I hide the painful hurt on my face that has come up from my heart.
Jesus held no grudges and made breakfast for the one who denied him three times and ironically, fed the others who were hiding that night. Which was worse: hiding or denying? Sometimes it’s easier to hide, so our words don’t deny. Sometimes our steps get us into places where the lies come out of our mouth faster than a quick trip down an icy hill.
Jesus asked Peter three times to feed his sheep, but Peter replied “ you know I love you.” Feeding and loving go together!
I am pretty sure when Peter said, “You know that I love you,” it pricked his heart to be reminded that love overlooks the failures on both sides. Jesus looked above the hurt, Peter looked through the hurt. So it takes me back to the question, is there someone I need to forgive and feed? Hospitality comes with hands that tremble holding plates of forgiveness. This gives me something to mull over anyway!

I got shown up

I don’t like being shown up. Most of the time it’s annoying! I think I have some abilities and have fined tuned others to where I am more than competent but it does annoy me when I am shown up! A few minutes ago the idea went through my mind , as Jim is working, I should go fishing. We had stopped to get worms on our way to the lake so I was prepared, the poles are waiting in the shed and I have the desire and somewhat an ability to put a worm on a hook and dangle it in the water in hopes that some Bass or Sunny will grab it! As my mind was contemplating moving off the deck and into the boat, I was shown up!
Right in front of me across the lake, an eagle swooped down, grabbed a fish and soared up to the tree and began his snack!!! Without effort, without a worm, without a pole, without a plan, just did what God created him to do: catch fish! I am still sitting here considering if I want to go fishing now! It’s soothing , for me not the fish, so I probably will but the elegance of the eagle: amazing and beautiful is still slightly annoying. It’s a great reminder of the gifts God gave his creation. I cannot soar, or catch fish with my talons, but I can play guitar and piano. I will be thankful and grateful for the beauty I see. I am just really glad God didn’t make elephants to fly and catch fish with their feet! Now that would be amusing! Probably as funny as watching me try to catch fish!

Pride in a daddy’s eyes

They were late to church. Well, that might not have been true, but they were late walking into the meeting area. The music was going, and people were worshipping.
When we were kids, we were never late to church. Primarily because we were at Sunday school first and you just walked into church. However, we did make it a challenge for those who were late. Latecomers got the walk. The walk to the front because the back seats are all taken. I think that’s probably why everyone got to church before it began, so the best seats in the house, the back seats, were nice and toasty warm before church began. Visitors coming in not knowing this, well they got the walk to the front. I don’t mind waltzing to the front, in fact sometimes I just do that: waltz. Some churches have cute little ribbons and ropes in the back saying “For Visitors and Families with young children.” Kind of welcoming, but also kind of segregating.
Sunday, a young mom walked in with a stroller and a young girl. Instantly, I could see the daughters’ eyes. She was probably about 4-5 years old, and she was looking to see someone: her daddy. He was singing in the worship team. That could be the reason why they walked to the front, stroller being pushed with the baby and the little girls’ eyes searching for her daddy to look at her.
The little girls’ eyes vanished from my sight, but daddy was on stage for everyone to see and there was absolutely no doubt in his eyes when he looked down at his family.
My mind started to wander. That happens often for me during church. There was pride in that Daddy’s eyes. Some say men aren’t good multi-taskers, he was doing a great job. Yes, he was singing, but when his eyes went down to that second or third row where his family was standing, there was no doubt that he was a proud daddy. I thought that was as cute as it could get and then the wife picked up the baby and held him up. It was a beautiful moment of worship. God looks at us as his children and smiles. I am sure he laughs also, but he is a proud Father. The little girl had done nothing and the baby, with his hair sticking up (I think it’s a him) was just googly eyes. They had done nothing to make him proud, he was proud because they were his.
We don’t have to earn God’s love or work to make Him proud of us. For some of us, we have arrived late to the party, dragging in our baggage and staggering to the front row, we kind of stand awkwardly looking up at God as if to say, “I made it”! God doesn’t berate us, scold us or tell us how we should have planned better and got up earlier. God simply beams with joy because we are His.

Jesus walks on water

Still in John 6 and this time I really went off on a rabbit trail. Jesus had just fed a lot of people- actually he had healed a few people before feeding 5000 men and we have no clue how many women and children were munching on breadsticks and dried fish. Jesus just vanished…. Disappeared off into the unknown leaving the disciples to cross the lake alone. No worries for them, fishermen knew that well and there was a storm. Of course there was. The disciples were rowing! You bet they were! And getting wet, and probably saying a few choice words and grumbling about why are we out here at night! Well maybe not, but I sure would have been. I project my heart and mind into the disciples: it’s what I do! Then Jesus comes walking on the water. Of course he does. And he calms them down and then John 6 says, they willingly took him into the boat.
Here is where I go off track. If I were a disciple, I would have been tired, still processing the crazy few events from watching people being healed to the crowds of people, to food everywhere, then picking it all up: just saying I would have been on brain overload and then, add in a storm and night and wet and perhaps a bit ornery! Not saying they were, saying I would have been! I might have been tempted after all I had seen to say, “Jesus, why don’t you do a few more cool things. Just stay walking on the water and do some somersaults or back flips or surf…” That’s perhaps not spiritual, but when you are tired, tested, wet and wondering, sometimes words come out of your mouth. Well they creep out of my mind and crawl up to my lips and often slip out when my heart takes a breath!
Jesus walking on water: we read it and keep reading. But then! Jesus got into the boat and the boat reached land immediately: to the place they were going!
Perhaps some of my struggles in life is because I am asking Jesus to do back flips instead of boat trips. I keep asking him to show off rather than be amazed that he showed up. When Jesus is in the boat with me, the storms calm and we immediately get to where we are going! And yet time and time again, it seems I ask for backflips, surfing techniques and one more wave walking when Jesus could be in the boat with me, bring peace and get me to where I need to be quicker!
I’m sure no one else has those temptations, just thought I would be honest. Sometimes the miracles I can see, seem much more exciting than the miracles I can feel.

I know I am home!

I have been on the road. 2,000 plus miles, in a nice new car with apple car play. I saw lots of middle lines, yellow lines, and a few rumble strips. Last night I crawled into bed with a happy heart.
I woke up this morning, to the sounds of cows mooing. I haven’t heard that for over a week. No one’s house I stayed at, only three friends’ homes, had cows across the road. I think Arkansas has cows; I just didn’t have them in the backyard. Missouri, I know has cows, I saw of few of them in the ponds cooling off, but not outside my open window.
What does a cow have to do with anything? It reminded me I was home. I didn’t have to even think where I was. I didn’t have to open my eyes to focus on my surroundings. I knew when I heard the cows, I was home, in my bed! All three of the places I stayed on this trip, I have stayed before. They are familiar and they all hold my heart. But home, well that’s a bit different.
I wonder if when we get to heaven, we will hear the cows and without opening our eyes, know where we are. John 14:2 hints at cows. ” In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.”
Okay, I know there is not the word cow found in that verse but think about it what it implies. Jesus is going to prepare a place for us. It will be home. It will sound like home, smell like home, and feel like home. That’s what preparing a place does for those who show up. Every home I stayed at was ready for me. They knew I was coming, the bed was ready, chocolate covered peanuts on the counter, and their hearts were ready to talk, laugh, listen and make me feel at home. The only thing better, might have been an open window and the sounds of cows in the distance.

New rules for golf

While enjoying a short trip with a friend, we went golfing! There are lessons to be learned on the golf course.

10. After the golf clubs and a few balls and tees, don’t forget the sunscreen and sense of humor!
11. If you find a ball when you go to look for your ball, it’s a stroke less for each ball you find.
12. Laughing at your partner as they wildly swing and miss almost certainly guarantees you will miss on your next swing.
13. Skipping the ball across the green is very similar to rock skipping on the lake!
14. The numbers on the golf clubs don’t mean what you think they mean: still not sure what they mean!
15. Rules are made to be improved upon.
16. Somewhere beyond Bogie is Fogie. Don’t know what it means but at that point one is done counting strokes. (Forget it- Fogie)
17. If you build a house on a golf course, expect a few strangers on your lawn.
18. Golfing is a spiritual sport/ we baptized a few balls but we aren’t Jesus- they didn’t rise again to new life of any kind! Still at the bottom of the pond!
19. If you didn’t intend to swing, it doesn’t count.

Who do you make king?

Who do you want to make king?
It’s the simple sentences that stopped me in my tracks or rather sent my mind down a rabbits hole. John 6, I am trying to get out of John 6 and I keep finding things that bring about questions that no one is answering.
It’s four words in verse 15 “ to make him king” that intrigue me. The people were fed, and that’s all they needed to set about their desire to be taken care of forever. If this person could feed them so easily, certainly he could as their king, and provide for them in greater ways. Prophet, magician, or provider, they had been impressed and Jesus could see they had some different motives in mind so he just left.
Jesus leaving isn’t puzzling, nor are the dreams of those who saw the miracle and felt he could do much more. For me, the puzzling question in my mind is, who do I see come into my life, perhaps even perform a miracle and rather than worship God I want them to become my king, my idol or my security?

Jesus was like my mother

Jesus was like my mother. Well maybe I should say my mother was like Jesus. I am in the book of John and finally made it to chapter 6. It’s been a slow walk through John this year: I barely made it through Mark last year. Something happens when you read a book slowly, process, think, process, make it apply to today and then move on. Don’t just read, and read and close the book! Ok back to my mother and Jesus, verse 5 tells us that Jesus looked around at the large crowd gathering and said to Philip, “what’s for lunch?” Well he didn’t really say that but he did ask where are we going to buy enough food to feed all these people?”
Enter my mother! Wherever two or three are gathered in my name is a Bible verse. It also meant if two or three were gathered, mother would have a plan on feeding them!
Jesus asked the wrong person! He should have asked my mother! Or Dorothy Nelson, or Charlotte Fagen or any of the other women in my world that knew hospitality involved food. We understood Sunday dinner meant company. I am not sure how my mother knew who or how many were coming to eat before she invited them. There was always enough food and enough plates.
Jesus asked Philip and Philip answered with a guys answer: I didn’t bring the checkbook and there is no ATM machine close by! The Bible goes on to say Jesus was asking questions because he knew what he was going to do. My mother exactly. She would phrase a question to us and already had the answer in action? “Who is going to clean up this mess?”. “ I wonder who will mow the lawn today?” She didn’t really ask the question, she was doing what Jesus was doing- testing Philip- she was testing us!
I wonder how many miracles of Jesus I miss because I get caught up in the testing phase and stay there? Philip was stuck in the question. Andrew, went looking for the answer! He found a bag lunch with food in it. He brought the food to Jesus and we all know the rest of the story.
I want to be like Andrew when I grow up! Looking for answers not just stuck in the question? Philip was probably still trying to figure out what it meant while Jesus was making everyone sit down and had begun passing out the food. I pray I always look for an answer and not get caught up in trying to figure out the various nuances of the question. And I am proud to say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree! I can get a meal together with little advance warning, feed a bunch and leave them happy and content. Of course fresh hot chocolate chip cookies count as a meal don’t they???

It’s fair week

It’s fair time. For those of us in small town, rural America, it means many things. Hot weather, long days, stuff on us that smells like manure, tired kids, ornery animals and dusty barns.
This also brings to the forefront hard work, judges who listen, things that don’t turn out the way you think, kids having no idea what their project is all about since their mom did it as the last minute, and the reality that a red ribbon is a sometimes what you deserve.
I am a helper at our county, I run a club and help with the horse project so i can’t be a judge, but oh my, it’s pretty funny to hear the kids talk.
Some kids really know what they are talking about. Other kids have an idea, or rather in the ballpark, and make a good effort. I love it when the kids look at the judge with a vacant stare. They aren’t going to try to pull the wool over the judge’s eyes: they simply have no clue.
I sometimes think God might be like a judge at a county fair asking questions. The questions aren’t hard, if you did your project. In fact, a judge wants to know what you tried that didn’t work, and what lessons you learned and what you would change if you could do it all over again.
God asks those same questions to us. What have you learned in life, what have you tried that didn’t work and what things would you change if you could do it all over again?
What amuses me the most is knowing the judge knows the topic extremely well that the child is trying to make stuff up to impress the judge. We do the same with God. We use many big words and a few quotes thrown in to try to impress the one who created us and ironically, created how our struggles resolve. Yet, we plod forth, coming up with unique formula’s that won’t work, but sound impressive.
The answer I will never forget was when the judge asked about something and the child looked her right in the eye and said, ‘Well what would you have done differently?” The right question to the perfect person.
Lord, remind me that I might have some good answers, but you wrote the questions. Lord, remind me that in life, we would all love to be able to do things over again, and try to figure out how we could have done things differently, but sometimes the best thing we can do is turn to you and say, “Well, Lord, what would you do differently?”

Bottoms up!

Sometimes I need to be reminded to do what you are called to do, could call for bottoms up.
I was out for a drive and saw the swans on the lake. I stopped! In a matter of seconds, the swans went from beautiful swans on the lake to, well, bottoms up!!! The swan didn’t look around to see who was looking, or rather who was taking pictures from halfway across the lake. The swan knew what she/he needed and to get it meant bottoms up.
So why, do I worry about what others think when I know what God is calling me to do? Why do I look around to see if someone is looking or looking away before I follow Gods calling. Yes, someone might not understand, and yes, someone may tell me they have an opinion on what I should really do, but when God calls me, it’s bottoms up if that’s where God leads.
We have had a wonderful women’s retreat, laughter, some tears, ice cream and torrential downpours. We watched the loons, prayed together and listened to the hearts around the table. Most of all we have tried to envision what blooming will look like for us where we are in the lakes of our life. Could it be, God is asking us to go bottoms up, not worry about what bystanders think or say but just bloom where God had us? The swans seem to have no problem being what God made them to be: bottoms up and beautiful! I am not quite sure I would flip back upright so quickly.

Will power be want power

Will Power vs Want Power
I have will power. I am a will powering machine. If I need to do something, consider it done. If there is a necessity, needs are covered. Muscles, brain, brawn or a bit of manipulation, I can handle it: I have will power.
I have a friend, specifically one friend, who wants me to live longer and keeps asking me to give up a habit of mine. I can do it. Not a problem. I have the ability, the internal resistance, the external prowess but there is just one little problem. I don’t want to. Will power vs want power. It’s like being on a teeter totter. To go up, something must come down. To come down, something must go up.
“Will Power” is only effective if the “want power” allows the will power to be effective. It doesn’t help to have massive amounts of will power when the want power has already dug its heels in and says, “not today”.
It’s not really as much about will power as it is want power. If I want to, I will find a way. Then my will power takes over and, whammo- I have changed the world. Yet, when my want to is running toward New York City, it’s going to take a long time to get to Seattle.

Toddler definition

Google is wrong. I know that’s not a total surprise, but so is Oxford, Wikipedia and Dictionary Online. Goggle the word Toddler. There are interesting definitions, and usually using the word as a noun or adjective.

Google: ” noun- a young child who is just beginning to walk”

Wrong!

According to Merriam-Webster, “The meaning of TODDLER is a person who toddles; especially: a young child usually between one and three years old. How to use toddler in a sentence,” and that’s when I quit reading! This morning there was no ‘toddling’: it was full out running, 50 mph in a 15 mph zone!

Today I went shopping with a “toddler” and none of the above came close to the definition of this Toddler.

Toddler: is a verb! Verbs are action words! Descriptions similar to tornado, siren, and the ability to rotate 360 while turning a 180 and leaving Grammy still trying to make the first spin.

Toddler: finding a way to sit on the box of diapers, while standing at the same time because Grammy told him to sit.

Toddler: keen eyesight finding a “banished item” three aisles away through the shelving and loudly proclaiming his desire to covet, and steal, thus committing two of the ten commandments with one gesture!

Toddler: the ability to listen to the same song 15 times in a row and ask for “more” and adding the sign language motions for “please” to tear at grammy’s heart through the rear view mirror. Oh by the way, the song is from Toy Story “Strange things are happening to me”. I think I can now sing it in harmony backwards!

Toddler: God’s reasoning that if we can’t laugh at life, we need to go hang around a toddler for awhile.

Toddler: easily bribed with snacks but never satisfied. They learn the signing for “more” quickly and use it often. (goes back to the coveting commandment)

We headed for home and as we turned to go to Flatville, yes there is a town in Illinois named Flatville, and yes: it’s very flat, there was a backhoe! I might not be the best grammy, but I know what a little boy likes. We turned the opposite way, turned the car around and parked. I rolled down the window and we sat and watched the backhoe and the men at work.

Toddler: easily distracted by big things that make lots of noise and dig big holes.

We came home, ate lunch and now he is bed napping.

Toddler: sleeping, exhausted child who played in the grass, picked up a home run baseball and took it back to the team, and sat on Gators at the Rantoul Sporting Complex.

Toddler: Verb. 100% of the time he is awake.

I must look like a toddler to God. I get all excited about odd stuff, I want more than what I need, I run in circles just to get dizzy and fall down and I love anything shiny and slightly out of my reach. I make a fuss and create a scene when it’s not really necessary but as another definition said, “During toddlerhood, they display a range of new skills and personality traits, and begin to assert themselves by making their first bids for independence, They can also be expected to throw tantrums when those bids are denied.” Now, that sounds a lot like me. There are days I am a spiritual toddler!

Lord, I know you laugh at us as we run like toddlers here on earth, but we really do love life and get all excited over stuff that is so insignificant yet, you give us those things to give us joy. Sometimes Lord, I think you let us run, so we will take a nap and rest!

Intentional Dorcas

When considering women in the Bible who lived a life of integrity, bravery, or risked their life for another, one may not think of Dorcas.

            We find Dorcas wedged in the book of Acts between Saul’s conversion and dramatic over the wall escape and Cornelius’s vision.  This is part of the slow shift with the Gentile inclusion into God’s people and shifting the focus from who they were, Jewish, to whom God was calling, a greater nation, which included everyone who believed. Yes, we find Dorcas, right between Saul and Peter, including the Gentiles and stepping back from favoritism. (Acts 9:34-36)

            Dorcas only gets 189 words, but those few words show us the heart of a very intentional woman.

^“ Now in Joppa there was a disciple named Tabitha, (which translated into Greek means Dorcas). She was rich in acts of kindness and charity which she continually did. During that time it happened that she became sick and died; and when they had washed her body, they laid it in an upstairs room. Since Lydda was near Joppa, the disciples, hearing that Peter was there, sent two men to him, urging him, “Come to us without delay.” So Peter got up [at once] and went with them. When he arrived, they brought him into the upstairs room; and all the widows stood beside him, weeping and showing [him] all the tunics and robes that Dorcas used to make while she was with them. But Peter sent them all out [of the room] and knelt down and prayed; then turning to the body he said, “Tabitha, arise!” And she opened her eyes, and when she saw Peter, she sat up. And he gave her his hand and helped her up; and then he called in the saints (God’s people) and the widows, and he presented her [to them] alive.” (Amplified)

            Dorcas was known both Greeks and the Jews as Luke mentions both of her names: Tabitha in Aramaic and Dorcas in Greek. We see her sandwiched in between two major eye openers that God shows no favoritism, and yet Dorcas was doing that already. By mentioning her name in both languages, this leads us to see that both Greeks and Aramaic families were being loved on, cared for and provided for. It doesn’t really specifically tell us what she was doing in the first part, simply says “was rich in acts of kindness and charity which she continually did.” Some versions use the word “always”. It’s not safe to use the word “always” as it tends to be used as hyperbole, but if Luke used it, I could guess it’s because it was true. Always is very definitive. It means, always, consistently, reliable, continually, time after time and as sure as the sun is going to come up tomorrow. Dorcas was ALWAYS going to be doing good and helping the poor. We don’t know where Dorcas lived, we don’t know what she did for a living, or how she supported herself. That’s not included in the information. That leads us to believe Dorcas and poor were not in the same sentence except to compare.  Dorcas was always, doing good and helping the poor. She was intentional about her actions, but we find out how intentional she was later on in the reading. The way that Dorcas showed her intentionality is best described by Luke as he shares what the people did when Peter came upon being summoned that she was ill. It doesn’t seem the community of believers that Dorcas was a part of even considered her being healed, or after she died, raised from the dead. They wanted Peter to be a part of their mourning. Part of mourning often involves sharing the gifts that we have been given by the one who has left us. A few weeks ago, I was at a celebration service for a good friend and former pastors wife when I was a kid. The church pews were lined with the quilts she had made. We looked at them, leaned back on them and felt a bit of June still with us as we saw the things she had made while living. Each quilt had meaning, specific to those she was making it for, and you knew it was prayed over while she quilted.

Luke tells us the people who were mourning were “the widows stood beside him, weeping and showing [him] all the tunics and robes that Dorcas used to make while she was with them.”  This is where the intentionality of Dorcas comes into play. This is where I sit up straighter and in my heart think, I want to be like her. She knew the people. She knew the sizes. She knew the needs. Dorcas didn’t just make a shirt, robe, or piece of clothing and say, “good luck, if it fits you and sorry it has three arm holes, and is too long, but it’s a shirt.” No!  Dorcas knew the people she was “always doing good” for and knew what they needed. She knew their size. She knew if they had long arms or short legs. Dorcas was intentional by knowing what the need was. Otherwise, people may have just said, “She’s gone! I don’t have to wear that shirt around her anymore that doesn’t fit, its scratchy and is headed for Goodwill.”

People wanted Peter to see what she had done for them. Dorcas lived an intentional life of always doing good, but doing good where good was needed and where that “doing good” would actually do good.

I have spent many hours with friends in the challenges that life. When people find out someone is struggling, they want to do something. I call it the “get out of jail free” card. Bring a casserole! What if a casserole isn’t what the need is? What if, the lawn needs mowing? What if the mortgage needs to be paid? What if the kids orthodontist bill just came due? I have accepted many pots of food at the door of someone’s house for them. Part of me wanted to say, “I wish you would have called and asked. We have some big needs, and it’s not donuts, cake or hot dish”.

Dorcas knew what the need was because she was involved in their life. She was in the homes of the community both Jews and Greeks, and she met the needs because the need existed.

The Hoses of Life

Philippians 2:4 reminds us “Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”  We know our own interests! Yet how much time do we take, to really discover the needs, or interests of another? Be intentional. Think like Dorcas. It’s not just about being rich in kindness and charity, it’s about knowing what is needed and what will enrich. We can be kind and be inconsiderate as we give something that isn’t needed. Wisdom goes looking into the interests of others, so the richness, kindness and acts of charity, are a welcome relief to the hearts of those who receive them.

When we were kids, farm kids with no television often made their own fun, we would play games with the water hose. One of the best, was to tell someone they could get a drink and when they went to drink, turn off the water. Of course, they would look to see why the water wasn’t coming out of the hose and then you would, yup, turn it back on. They would be rewarded with a face full of water.

This year we have had the hose in our life shut off, and it’s not been cuz we are bored farm kids.

What supplies the water hoses in our life change for many reasons. Sometimes someone shuts of the water. We find out quickly how little control we have in life. Perhaps the well runs dry. There is even the chance that the water sours and isn’t fit for drinking .

It’s often a time of reflection when the hoses in life go empty. In friendships, relationships, jobs, and yes, even families, nothing is coming out the hose.

I think I did it, cause that’s my default. What I found this year was God was simply connecting to a different hydrant. I was used to the steady trickle and was content with it. It met a need, I was able to drink and rinse myself off.

Then, it dried up. It like, just stopped! I asked a few questions but got no answers. Of course I looked in the end of the hose and ran to check the hydrant. What I found was challenging cuz the hose kept going on forever. My desire to understand would have to wait, and wait and wait.

The surprise and joy came when the hose didn’t start trickling out water, but came flowing out with a mighty gush. When I took a drink, it was obvious it wasn’t the same taste.

Isaiah 35:6, 7

“Water will gush forth in the wilderness and streams in the desert. The burning sand will become a pool, the thirsty ground bubbles springs “

I look back at all that has happened with the garden hoses of our life in the past 8 months, and I shake my head in amazement. Because it’s so satisfying, I keep lifting up the hose and drinking in.

Sometimes you don’t realize how stale the water has become, until you taste fresh. I was slightly satisfied because that’s what it had been. God shook my hose, my patience and my understanding and I am more than thankful, grateful and it’s quenching my thirst in a much deeper way than ever before!!!!

The dilemma, it’s mostly in our minds!

I did something my husband did not want me to do. However, he is 170 miles away.

In his defense- It’s a steep part of the lawn.

My defense: it’s not very much lawn.

His defense: you will hurt yourself.

My defense: I haven’t hurt myself in a long time.

His defense: then you are due

My defense: you are not here.

His defense: Peter Moen can do it.

My defense: I can’t wait till Thursday.

His defense: it’s a powered push- you have never run it.

My defense: never too old to learn.

His defense: you are impatient.

My defense: we will be baling hay if it’s any longer.

His defense: I sold all the equipment. My defense: my point exactly!Now if you are married, or have been married, this probably rings true but with difference “lawns”As funny as it kind of is, we didn’t exchange words. I have lived with the man long enough to know exactly what he will say. And, he has lived with me long enough he knows exactly what I will do.

The lawn is mowed. I have all my fingers, toes, arms and legs still attached and in their original places. I didn’t have to call the neighbor to rescue me, and I even managed to kick the ball to Hogan a few times while accomplishing the task! And the best part, it isn’t even 10 a.m. In the words of a song by one of my favorite performers, John Denver, “some days are diamonds”.

Don’t say “call me if you need anything”, if you aren’t prepared…

Never say, “ if you ever need anything call me?” unless you want to be blessed beyond measure. About 18 years ago,I said it and I meant it but I didn’t know what “it” would become.

The triplets were born in September and in January, Michelle was going back to work. They had it worked out for caregivers to keep the babies at home until a year. Grandma, broke her leg. Chris called and asked if I could be Grandma for 6 weeks or so! So I stepped up, because I said I would do whatever they needed. Grandmas leg healed- I stayed on! 9 months later, I would have never imagined how much fun and hard work watching three little munchkins would be. I was Thursday! I would drive to Hayfield about the time the kids got on the bus and get home about 5:30. Often I would take a quick nap before making supper! Every Thursday I knew what I would be doing and where I would be. Sometimes if school was off or we had a snow day, I would have a kid but most of the time I was alone. I put them in the stroller and walked around town. Often I would take them to the nursing home and let the people talk about how cute they were, and they were cute. Above the changing table was a chart and every diaper had to be charted and described! Everything that went in, bottles, and everything that came out: use your imagination. Lots of diapers, wet wipes, bottles and messes! Well just think of what one baby does and times it by three! There were times I had to tell the one crying they would have to wait in line or take a number: and the number would be “3”! Baby food, snacks, and I made a lot of chocolate chips cookies for the dad. It was “harfun”( hard and fun combined). God had let me do some cool things in life , but this is one of the precious sacrifices that touched my heart as much as got that family through the kids first year! All because I said, “ if you ever need anything call me”. They don’t know me well, and I am glad we didn’t get to recreate the photo but God let me be a part of their village. What an honor!!!!

The Collision Psalm

I am in Psalm 133- the collision psalm. This is a psalm of the ascent written by David using two metaphors. Common metaphor may be, “I am so hungry I could eat a horse.” Or “my mind is a million miles away”.

A metaphor describes things to compare to each other. The definition could well be, a “non-literal comparison between two things”. David uses the beauty of people living together in unity. The psalm uses oil and dew, as metaphors to describe beauty.

Oil and dew on a collision course sent my mind off on a few tangents. Oil and water don’t mix: usually. How interesting! People don’t naturally get along in unity: usually. It takes some work and give on both sides and then it’s basically still oil and water but using the best of both to accomplish a new goal. Priests were anointed with oil signifying God’s blessing in them. The dew on Mt Hermon meant the valley below would have the water it needed. So actually, the high priest or Aaron and Mt. Hermon were just catalysts for a better good. Colliding with each other, oil and dew, others are blessed! Hmmmmm. Unity often brings collision of the hearts because people get threatened internally. Why not let the beauty of unity bring us together to bless others as unity runs off us rather than trying to possess unity. Just a thought!

So easy to destroy!

Why is it so much easier to destroy? Or perhaps better worded, why does destroying something go quicker and is sometimes more enjoyable than putting it up?
It was time to tear down the stalls. It has been coming for awhile. Last year we closed the horse stable down and began “happy ever after”. It hasn’t necessarily been happy but it has been much, much, much, much easier! I would have put a few more much’s in but they may have been a bit overmuched! We enlisted the help of two slaves, otherwise known as our friends boys, and the destroying began. Sheets of plywood crashing to the ground, the sound of crowbars and hammers were pleasing to the ears.
I watched as they walked on plywood on the cement floor which made the nails pop out, which makes the nails easier to pull. I saw purpose, if smashing has purpose and quickly, kind of, the studs were exposed and the area became, well, kind of lonely looking. Pallets of bad wood, buckets of screws and nails and an assortment of “ what?” lie on the floor. So easy, quick, and almost fun!
We do that with each other also: destroy that is. Instead of sledgehammers we use words, instead of hammers we use our facial expressions and rather than crowbars we use actions. Sometimes we can destroy someone without making the noises I heard yesterday and yet the result is the same. It took weeks to build the stalls, the walls, plan where the doors went, hang them, rehang them, and in just a few hours it was a mere shell!
How quickly we destroy another’s heart that took someone else work to encourage, build up and mentor. It’s almost as if some destroy as a sport.
Destroying makes the destroyer feel powerful. Power isn’t always a force, it’s authority under the submission. A quiet word can be more effective than the biggest pry bar and as persuasive as a large sledge. It all depends on how it’s being used. Use them both wisely: for the hearts and for the sheds in our lives that need a remodel!

Trilliums of life

They say it’s a sign of spring: trillium! We also have heard that about daffodils, iris, lilacs and tulips. Driving through the trails they smiled at us, as if wild flowers could smile. What makes trillium beautiful is the contrast against the dark green forest bed. Three leaves and three petals of the flowering plant , waving as we drove by.
Outside the lakehouse are a growing hillside of trillium. I pulled a few out the first year before I realized what it was.
How many times in life do we destroy something God has waiting to bless us, because we didn’t know what it was. Perhaps it’s what others may label as “blessings in disguise.” God isn’t real obvious sometimes which makes the places we look at things in life crucial. Take some time to study, pray and ask advice before we pull out the things we don’t know or understand.
I see a few relationships they could have been sweet had I hung on when I was younger. Now, I look at people differently, look for the leaves of potential and wait a bit to allow the bloom to happen. I also ask who else has seen this plant?
Proverbs 19:20 – “Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.”
God has blessed me greatly with many trilliums for friends but I have a feeling I pulled a few out before really looking at the possibilities. Perhaps I got a bit too excited with the hoe!
Give people a chance to bloom! Give them a chance to grow!
That’s what our ladies retreat was about this weekend. There are times we are the gardener, providing the nurturing, and then times we are the greenhouse. Greenhouses are a place to let the seed germinate, establish roots and grow: be a safe place to be before they are placed in your garden. There is a world of people who need a greenhouse. Just need your kitchen counter, a cup of coffee and a place to escape the winds of the world as they grow in their faith.
There are people waiting to have a gardener come alongside them. People to mentor, people to teach, people to love and listen.
There are trilliums in the sides of the hills and woods! Give them a chance!

Isn’t that what the church should be: welcoming stranger?

Isn’t that what the church should be: including strangers? For a moment in time, it was. When we are at the lake in wisconsin, we go to church. It’s that drive within me, to be in community regardless of where we are at. We know some people up north but usually it’s Jim and I and during fellowship time we visit a bit but we aren’t here enough, yet, to really get to know folks. So here I am, Sunday morning, going to church alone. It has happened before and feeling alone in a group of people is probably one of the most loneliest feelings. Those are the times I eye someone else who looks alone and we cahoots together.
Because the float plane was taking off at the lake and I was slightly distracted, I was a few minutes late to church. No eyeballing others who were alone, I had to do the visitor walk to the front of the old grocery store converted into a church: it was obvious that I was alone.
Communion is done differently here and it’s very refreshing and meaningful. During the singing, people walk to the back, line up at on the edges and come down to the front in families or groups and partake of communion together- often praying together before serving each other. Yes it takes awhile, could be 20 minutes but so meaningful. Communion meditation was finished and the music began and the singing started. It wasn’t halfway through the first song when a tap on my arm and I turned to face a lady who said, “would you like to join our family?” I said “yes” and walked back to stand with them and make our way slowly down the side to the front.
My eyes started leaking again. As they put arms around each other, me included, and the grandpa figure began praying. It was kind of surreal. The church isn’t a name or a building, it’s the hearts of believers who love like Jesus.
Let brotherly love continue. In Hebrew 11 it says “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.” Don’t get me wrong, they didn’t entertain an angel, but they did make me feel wanted, cared about and included at the table as one of their own. Isn’t that what the church is supposed be: including strangers?

Mother’s Day thoughts

Mother’s Day thoughts.
I would be amiss if I didn’t share something about our mother as I share thoughts about women who have made a difference leading up to Mother’s Day. She was, my mother, our mother, mothered others and tried to mother a few that didn’t want mothering.
She never graduated high school and I remember her studying to get her GED. She married young,16, and had four kids within 7 years. My folks kept foster kids, adopted one brother and the youngest brother was born when she was pushing 40! There is 21 years between my oldest and youngest siblings. My father died when she was 50 and she kept on living and traveling and our stepfather got to see the world because mother found adventure: in a calmer way than my father so I have taken the middle road between them. She put up with my fathers crazy ideas of a wildlife farm. She thought she was done raising kids and he brought black bear into the house along with a spider monkey. I guess us kids prepared her for the great unknown. Them, you could put in a cage!!!
I remember at an early age figuring out which side of my parents bed to crawl into when I was scared. If I crawled into my fathers side, he would get up and take me back to bed. If I crawled in on my mothers side, she either liked me better but more likely she was too exhausted to care.
I learned some good habits from my mother. Feed people, clean and then rearrange the furniture : as much as you want! If someone is there at lunch a you set another plate and the serving sizes were smaller appropriately. I learned that chocolate chip cookies are a food group -and wacky cake is a necessity. I learned there is always room for one more person to sleep in a full house. I learned that you should only take one child shopping at a time.
I also learned some bad things from my mother. Talking: she talked with her hands. All the time. If we wanted her to quit, we would hold her hands or put a cup of coffee in her hands. I learned deception and the art of photoshopping without a computer. One year there was a five generation photo with my nephew and his son, except it was me, not my sister. No problem for her- she put a picture of my sisters head over mine. One year for Christmas she had labeled a horse and rider as Baihley and her horse socks. Give her credit, horses do slightly resemble each other and the kids had helmets on but Stephanie our friends daughter and the horse Buddy were actually on the Christmas card not Baihley and Socks.
I also learned to lie with a smile depending on how you used your words. She said, “I must say, that is a beautiful baby”. It wasn’t that the baby was pretty, but what else could she say? You must say something so she always said, “I must say that is a beautiful baby.”After us kids figured that out, we began using that as much as we could!
She taught us how to love people, how to meet their needs, how to make a bed and do laundry, I leaned to iron doing the handkerchiefs. I never knew who used that many but it obviously kept me occupied. She always made do, we never knew we were poor. We learned how to work, and how to put treats on the table when someone dropped in.
Mother was always elegantly dressed, made sure we were a part of church, Joy club, youth rallies, camps, oh yes she was the camp cook for years, and church was a big deal. God was a big deal but not in your face a big deal, just do the right thing and love people how they needed loved. We also learned we could run away from mother but she tattle tailed a lot! We never tried running away from our father. When we learned they were working together, it was a sad day for our backsides!!!!
I still and it’s been 7 years, go to call and tell her something. And I have missed a few funerals because she didn’t call and tell me. And I have to weed my own flower garden and make my own birthday cake. Probably the biggest thing I learned from her was how to be a friend. If you were her friend, you had quite the friend!

The Victoria Falls of our lives

Six years ago I crossed off an item on my bucket list I didn’t know I had. Usually my lists are intricate and with purpose. Six years ago I stood beside Victoria falls in Africa and went “wow”. Okay I had a few more thoughts than wow, but it was amazing, incredible and very soul stirring. Normally, I know what I want to do, where I want to go and the reasons for them with bullet points! This, Victoria falls, wasn’t anywhere on a list, with a purpose or highlighted “gotta see it someday”.
The past six months have held a few things that I didn’t have written down nor anticipated. The beauty of the unexpected moves our hearts. It’s kind of like sitting down to eat pizza and as the box is opened it’s sirloin steak with grilled veggies. Now I enjoy pizza, but I love sirloin steak. Suddenly I am drooling differently.
God has had to wipe a bit of the drool off my chin these past months. I thought I knew, but it changed to something deeper, better and made me drool a bit! Not that I wasn’t content with the pizza, and not that I didn’t know Victoria falls even existed ( okay- I had no clue till I read the life of David Livingston on my way to Africa).
When we stand at the edge of a Victoria falls in our life and we weren’t expecting it, it changes our heart. Perhaps it expands our heart and opened our senses to what else God may have around the corner. Victoria falls has 15 viewing spots on the Zimbabwe side and I hit them all, with a large zip lock baggie over my camera and wearing a raincoat! God has had me walking around a few viewing spots this past few months and each one has a different view and a different way God wants me to see his plan for my life. A few I do need a raincoat and a few I need sunscreen! But all make me thankful I have a God who enjoys watching me drool, cry and smile all at the same time!
Psalm 107:15 “oh that men would give thanks to the Lord for his goodness, and for His wonderful works to the children of men”

What do you see?

If you look, you will see. Some will see the lake, others will see the sun and the shadows, yet others might see a step, a shovel and a hammer. Some will wonder why, others will say about time and still others may ask when will it be finished? All of those are very good questions. Because it needed to be done, we have been busy and I don’t know would be the answers in that order.
Still that won’t satisfy all.
I listen to people. Perhaps that’s a positive and sometimes could be a bit of a frustration but what I do more than listen is watch. The stories behind what we see will determine how our questions are asked or if they are even important enough to ask.
Proverbs 27:19 “As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects a real person.”
Until you know what the shovel and hammer and upside down steps mean, you will guess all day. You might actually figure it out. But if you listen, we will tell you. If you look at peoples lives you may figure out what is happening in their lives, the shovels, the hammers and the things lying upside down beside them. But when you ask, and then when you listen you find out the heart which reveals the real story. Don’t just look at what you see, listen to what’s behind the clutter or super organized, labeled and dated parts of the hearts of those you encounter!!! One of the reasons Jesus listened to people to help them understand what was in their heart. He knew, but often we need to talk it out, and often others are a big part of that. Don’t be scared away by the steps and shovels in others lives. Start asking questions and find out their heart. You will learn a lot. Jesus did.

Preferences- a community!

Sometimes thinking is a dangerous thing. We were looking at the first four months of our year, more because Jim told me how many miles I drove on my recent trip: 3000 to be exact. That promoted me to reverse to the first of January and add up the miles we did in January and February and I have gone over 7000 miles since January 3rd. Impressive or ridiculous, you opinion doesn’t matter but it did spurn some thoughts about how many different churches I have been in worshipping since then. I don’t like the on line church mantra. It removes what Jesus meant by gathering together. So if we are somewhere, we are in a church on Sunday morning. Ones we have to push the doors open and walk in as total strangers. This year I went to a different church every Sunday on our trips. Even driving 12 hours to get home, the priority was church first, then drive. What does worshipping with other churches do to the heart? It often brings up our preferences. For me the preference or focus is am I in a community of believers, is Jesus the focus and am I being challenged to be more intentional in my faith walk?
Preferences are simply preferences. I shop at stores I like. I go to places I fit in. Our church communities are no different. This last trip I was in three different churches. One church, I was much more at home than the other two. It wasn’t that I knew the songs they were singing, or if anyone was singing beside me. It also really didn’t matter if anyone talked to me or I got a gift as a first time visitor at the welcome counter. I didn’t fill out a first time visitor card but I did watch and listen. My preference may lean toward one or the other, but being in the presence of other believers is good for the heart just like David said in Psalm 122,
When they said, “Let’s go to the house of GOD,” my heart leaped for joy.”
For me it’s all about watching people and seeing Jesus in their faces. I did enjoy hearing hundreds of people sing: no instruments just voices. In another service I loved the song I heard, “Abide” and already have it on my playlist. The rip and sip communion cups don’t get any easier to rip, but the fact we are all ripping together made me feel in community: and amongst others who can’t get the flap off either.
Perhaps one of the most moving was standing beside people who were strangers two months prior and God moved the spirit and here I was standing beside hearts that are investing deeply in our lives. Worshipping is such a gift: may I never get caught up in the preferences that I like or tolerate and miss the Holy Spirit moving in me and others to change our lives which subsequently changes the lives of others. It’s the beauty of worship!

Mother’s Day women!

Mother’s Day Tribute to Mom’s in My Life.
It’s a few weeks until Mother’s Day. It’s not something we grew up celebrating necessarily although I do remember making cards that I am sure were quite interesting, and picking my mother’s own flowers to give to her in a jar. My first mother’s day was the year Addlea was born on May 6. It was awesome. New baby, healthy and it didn’t bother me that she didn’t send me a card or pick flowers for me. She was here. The rest of Mother’s days have melted into the haze. We farm so we don’t make a big deal of Mother’s day since most of the time it’s planting season. The best year came when all three children, none of them home, sent me a card signed, “Your favorite Child”. So for Christmas, I labeled all the gifts, “To my favorite child”. They had to open them and figure out which one was really the intended target. For the next few weeks, I am going to choose some ladies who have been a mom like figure in my heart. If I don’t specifically name you, perhaps you’d better step up your game! Just kidding. When we get a bit older, our focus changes as to what mothering consists of. From pampering, to scolding, to teaching, to reminding, to reminding again, to rewording, to calling, to showing: you get the point. Mothering is an ongoing intentional living that brings those you are around the feeling of being loved and mentored, regardless of who you mothered, or if you birthed.
One of the women who stood out for me would be Charlotte Fagen. We probably hung on Walt more because he was fun and funny, but behind all the fuss was Charlotte. Feeding, shepherding, listening, asking and caring. Once Walt passed away, it was only Charlotte and she took well advantage of time to visit when I would stop. Of course that doesn’t count for the many meals while I was in college or the visits to Happy Joe’s pizza either. Mothering is a constant, gentle, push in the tush sometimes. Charlotte had a way of tush pushing that was loving. “Now Marette”, I can still hear her say in her soft voice and then would go on to ask questions about my latest adventure or what we were talking about. She could disagree without making it sound disagreeable. Perhaps that was because I wasn’t one of her own children, but I never felt judged, argued with or criticized, although a few times, it brought me back to balance in the middle.
Mother’s day: a time that should bring us back to focus on the beauty of mothering that God put in us women. It’s never about who we birthed, but whom we have loved and how we have learned from those who loved us.

The element of surprise!

Surprise!
There is a special element of surprise that touches the heart differently. Differently than what? Well, when we anticipate something, we begin to expect. When we expect, we place conditions on what we expect that we anticipated. When we expect something, we tend to be disappointed. That leads us back to the beauty of the element of surprise which is what makes our hearts sing and our tears to leak out of our eyes. Never saw it coming and it is beautiful: most of the time!
I kind of knew what my plans were for Sunday. Those plans didn’t happen, but instead I had several beautiful elements of surprise. From the time I walked into a church Sunday morning until I walked out of Culver’s, God gave me some really cool surprises and in return I got to be a surprise for someone special.
God has reasons for why He uses surprises to touch our heart. Partially because we tend to be grabby Greta when we expect something. We are grateful Grace when it’s a surprise. Jesus used surprises in the New Testament. Who else would walk on water just to make the disciples sit up in the boat with wide eyes.
I am still smiling, my only regret was I didn’t video the surprise. For the five of us there, we won’t forget the delightful scream! Like a quote from Hannibal of the old tv show, the A-team, “ I love it when a plan comes together.” I love it when plans flip and God uses surprises to bless our hearts!

Footballs on the roofs of our life!

I did something I haven’t done in awhile. The young man will probably not admit it for awhile but I beat a good basketball player in a game of PIG. I laughed as I kept sinking shots cuz I am an old lady compared to a 14 year old. Yet for a moment or two we were just two people shooting hoops in the side yard. But the thing that made me smile this morning wasn’t my good feeling that I actually kept sinking the basketball, it wasn’t even that the Hawkeye girls pulled off a victory, it was a football on the roof. I knew it was there, I heard the story last night. Kids were playing and laughing and as I wandered around the large crowd at the back steps of a friends house I asked them what they were doing. One wide eyed girl quickly spoke up, “she kicked the football on the roof and it’s still there.”
When I awoke this morning and looked out the window, there it was.
The ball on the roof reminds me of the many things in life that happen and no one else may know. Then someone looks out a window and sees life from a different angle. Our footballs are lying on the roof.
We go through life with good intentions and then stuff lands on the roof. We try our hardest and get beat by someone, like an old lady, who isn’t as good as us. Unplanned flops, moments we flank something in life off to the left or times when we altogether go to kick and miss the ball happen. Sometimes, our little faux paus are actually things that make others smile. I have had a week of watching people smile. It has been such a blessing to my heart and many of those things were silly moments, words said that came out wrong, but it made us laugh and pulled our hearts closer together. I will be waiting to see how long until a blustery day brings down the football? Nonsensical things that God allows to just make us laugh. And I still feel pretty good about sinking those shots in basketball!!! And I don’t even hurt this morning! Maybe I am not such an old lady after all!!!!

Listen to scripture- it talks!

I remember: some things you don’t forget. I can still hear the sound of grandmas walker going across the floor early in the morning. Then the few too many times I have had to use crutches or a cane, there is no mistaking the clump, clump, thunking sounds as each crutch hit the floor.
Have you ever taken the time to listen to the sounds of scripture? There are many but none more poignant than the crowds in the street and the shouting of hosanna with people, and animals crowding the streets. The bustling of people, throwing branches on the ground, and the sound of them being stepped on. But more intense to me is was what happens in verse 14 of chapter 21 of Matthew. He had already overturned the tables and seats of the money changers. That would have been a bit of a clatter, but then the blind and the lame came in the temple. Listen! Hear the crutches, the canes, the clatter of those leading who cannot see: listen to the sounds those things creates. Then I hear the children crying out, not just fussy kids but loudly proclaiming Hosanna. I hear the absolute delight in a child’s voice, and the exclamation of those healed. Listen to the sounds of scripture. Listen. We tend to, read on! What’s next? For once, just stop and listen to what was happening. Close your eyes and let your heart hear the words of a cripple now walking or might I say dancing! Listen to a blind man describe what he is seeing for the first time. Take some time to listen to the sounds of scripture before hurriedly moving on to the next verse.

The wilderness

Wilderness. I have never particularly loved the wilderness, whether it’s a desert or a moment in time. Psalms 107 reminds me that God changes the wilderness into abundance. The wildernesses in our lives were never meant to be forever, simply passing through. Psalm 107 reminds me that he turns the dry land into water springs and the wilderness into pools of water. It continues to tell me that hungry dwell there. Dwell, settle, hang around, get comfortable. When I am hungry, I am willing to change. When I am satisfied, I settle. The psalmist is telling me there will be a satisfying and it’s a time to put the bowl up, it will be filled. Yet if I read the first part of that chapter, it tells me the hungry wandered into the wilderness. Sometimes others push you into the wilderness. But God. But God sees the big picture and in verse 8, hope is in two words: satisfies and fills. God will provide in whatever wilderness I find myself in regardless of how I got there. God will satisfy and fill my bowl if it’s a thimble, a cereal bowl, a mug or the huge popcorn bowl we used to eat out of as kids. This psalm is one of the most encouraging of the psalms because of the promises of hope in the various places we find ourselves in. Four times a phrase echoes in this chapter. When all is said and done, when I see the oasis, when I feel my bowl being filled, there is one response for me: being thankful. “oh that men would give thanks to the Lord for his goodness.” I don’t have to see the road out of the wilderness to know God will lead me out. I don’t have to understand how my bowl will be filled. I don’t even have to hear it beginning to rain to know the drought is over, because I have hope in a God who says he will redeem, has redeemed and will continue to redeem me. The challenge is to thank God for his goodness with an empty bowl, trusting it will be filled in the wilderness.

March madness or ?

I don’t care much about it, until this time of year. We didn’t grow up with basketball. We had an old rim in the barn and shot hoops a lot but never went to a game. I tried basketball in high school but had no clue of the rules since I had never played it. Softball and volleyball took my attention.
They call it March madness. I could come up with a few other words. Amazing adrenelin, Hoop Hysteria, or Blood pressure elevator! They all kind of fit. We are now hooked until the end of the final four. I might even send my brother and my son a note later asking if I can join their NCAA brackets.
I said to Jim as we crawled into bed last which was way later than our norm, “I hope Iowa state can win without us.”
What a dumb statement. I make quite a few, but that was about the best of the week. My presence watching a game, being held thousands of miles away, okay maybe that’s it’s not that far away, will help five men put an orange and black ball through a crochet netted rope hanging in the air. I don’t matter. My allegiance to whichever team, doesn’t matter. If I hold my breath during the free throw, or yell at the ref while sitting on the couch, does not change the outcome. I have nothing invested except my evening, blood pressure and desire to see the underdog win.
Life isn’t like that. I am not a spectator with nothing to gain. People are important. Relationships matter. I am not a couch coach or a sidelines reporter- I am in the game playing with others. When others choose not to play the game, how do I respond? When the basketball is taken away from me and no one will pass me the ball so to speak, what do I do?
How I dribble, pass, shoot, foul and sit on the bench matters in the game of life. But it only matters if I am playing the same game.
I spent this week playing ball with other peoples lives. Passed it, tossed it in from out of bounds, set a pick for someone else and sat on the bench and cheered while someone else got to play. I got to be Jesus hanging on their basketball court and play in their game.
But how do I play this game of life, when others won’t throw me the ball, or keep fouling me or bring out a pickle ball paddle and change the game.
Playing this game of life with others is a lot like watching the craziness with basketball. As much as I think and coach from the sidelines or couch, it’s ultimately their decision. The way we love people is very much like how we cheer for basketball. We can wear the sweatshirts, carry the foam fingers and scream till we can’t talk, but it’s their decision who they put in on their team to play. It still won’t keep me from loving people, being their fan or making a fool of myself as life goes on. As much as I want to be in the game, there are times in life when I just have to watch from the sidelines or the couch and what happens, happens! I still won’t quit loving people! It’s just in my dna. And in March, I will cheer for the underdog! That’s also part of my dna!

What do I thirst for?

Isaiah 55:1 “Come all ye who are thirsty, come to the waters:”
That always intrigued me. Water intrigues me. There is no comparison to drinking ice cold water out spring after we hiked through the woods.
But what if, I am not thirsty for water?
What if I am thirsty for other things? Things that my heart yearns for. Things I drool over, not in an envious way, but in a “I have been praying for this for years” way?
I worship a God who can turn a drink of water into the need that I thirst for. Just sometimes the distance from the pipe to my heart seems a long way!

Your one wild and precious life!

I am reading a book. I have finally, after finishing seminary, finding the joy of reading again. One of the things I love to do is rummage through thrift store bookshelves. I nailed a great gain with a 25 cent book called, Falling Upward. It has been a great read but it’s also very thought provoking. This one quote stopped me.

“What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

I am still trying to figure it out. Jesus challenged his disciples in John 21. “He said to them, “Cast the net on the right side of the boat, and you will find some.” So they cast it, and now they were not able to haul it in, because of the quantity of fish.”

Somedays I don’t want to pull my net out of the water. Other days I think there just might be fish come eventually, so I just want to wait. Then there are days I am all in: I am ready to throw my net on the other side of the boat.

There is a small fright in doing something you haven’t done before. Okay, maybe more than a small fright. But the results are the full nets.

I want that! I want to have the faith to not blink when Jesus says, “other side please.” My nature questions, “why.” My big mouth says, “How come?” But my heart? My heart is beginning to just let the boat struggle with the amount of fish, and my spirit be grateful before I whine about how I am going to get the blessings all in the boat?

I listened to songs at Chapel the other day and my heart started leaking out my eyes. The nets were full and it wasn’t smelly fish. Sometimes God surprised us with blessings we can’t explain with what we didn’t know we needed.

Gift not wrapped, the best kind!

I love getting gifts. There is an adrenaline when opening a gift you didn’t really know was coming and didn’t expect.

When we were young gifts or presents were rare! I learned to enjoy the moment as the moments were few and far between. Then I got older and met people who gave gifts! I loved it, and decided to do it more often! Then I had kids. Kids give the most interesting gifts and you have to smile and act like you really love the macaroni cross painted brown or the picture that is anyone’s guess as to what it really is.

Last year was what I called my pilgrimage year. Huge changes, lots of wear and tear on the heart and very few gifts. Yet, it is turning out to have been one of the richest years for things received. Sometimes the best gifts aren’t wrapped and the most joy received is without bells and whistles. I sat at a funeral and looked down the row at 5 of the 6 siblings and stepdad sitting together! It was a gift! The phone will ding, it’s actually an app singing, and a little boy is looking at the phone making funny faces. A gift. We FaceTime and laugh at the grandbaby almost walking, we sit and eat apple crisp with a friend, beyond the menus being held by friends I see decades of friendship: those are gifts with less tape and paper involved.

Perhaps most poignant was the other days phone call. As I walked and listened to the voice on the other line I realized how precious gifts are that can’t be defined or wrapped.

Deuteronomy 16:17

“Each of you must bring a gift in proportion to the way the Lord your God has blessed you.”

If I live out that verse, I will pile gifts so high in my arms that I can’t see over, just trying to give more than I have received! It’s a wonderful dilemma to be in and I am grateful!

Folding towels.

I stood by the large window watching four young people folding towels. The larger story was, the water park didn’t open for another 30 minutes and I was trying to entertain the toddler while we waited. He was entertained by watching and then waving at the towel folders. There were four of them! Two guys and two girls. Now this isn’t a guy -girl comparison, as much as a simply observing what was happening, but, the girls were folding twice as many towels as the guys were.
One of the guys was laying the towels on the counter, meticulously folding and pressing the towel corners, meeting them perfectly. The other young man was whipping the towels out of the large tubs, obviously freshly laundered, and in the air tossing them, folding the, looking at them, then slowly making the towel appear folded and with a flair flopping it down on the piles. One of the gals was folding, but then also stacking the piles of folded towels somewhere below where we could not see. The other girls was making every second count, folding, quickly, efficiently and with no fuss.
It amused me. It amused the grand-baby. The lesson it drove home was how we are all different, and we approach life with our personality and the flair we bring to life. The goal of the morning was to fold the towels. We were entertained by standing watching each one find their own way to make their job fun!
Somehow, we tend to find fault with others folding the towels in life. Our way is the best way, the way we fold, the way we get them out of the bucket, and the way we lay them down folded.
I love people. I have friends who fold their towels on the counter, some who have flair and finesse, others who are just gonna get it done, and others who can fold towels, put towels away and entertain us in the process. I want to appreciate each of their approaches to the folding towel moments in life, because it makes me better. As we watched from the windows above, I noticed that the four workers were talking, and laughing. Then they would look up and wave at us as we watched.
Colossians 3:23 “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men”
What a better witness we would have if we all folded towels, let those beside us fold towels their way, and do it because we are called to fold towels for God rather than be correcting other towel folders around us.
I hope that people watching me fold towels in my life, smile. I pray that when I stand along side someone else, who is folding their towel different, I just laugh and let them be who they are. After all, the point is to fold towels whatever that may be for us.

The great unknown.

Lord you led me into the great unknown, not unknown to you,
but not familiar to me.
Lord, you led me to a place
where my words are cherished
and my heart protected.
You placed me where I could shine
with others holding more lights up so I could see.
You have given me the beauty of moments, that cannot be duplicated and memories that cannot be erased.
Let me always anticipate the beauty of your Spirit
putting me where you have prepared for me.
Keep me from stepping ahead, lagging behind or
stopping in the middle of road trying to figure you out.
Just keep me living intentionally, to be who you created me to be
In the hearts and homes you place me.
I am Thankful, Grateful, Prayerful and Hopeful.

Bethlehem within

Have I allowed my life to be a Bethlehem for the Son of God? Never thought of an answer to that question: I never thought of the question. The rain is falling on our roof. That doesn’t happen in Minnesota in December. Christmas Day, the present less tree, and the early morning quiet have me lots to think about. I have allowed for many things. The cinnamon rolls are rising for early Christmas morning sun deliveries, while I sit awaiting the dawn. Then the question from my morning devotions?
Have I allowed my life to be a Bethlehem for the Son of God? Bethlehem sat waiting. She didn’t waste her waiting. She was doing everyday life. The slopes of Bethlehem, known as the house of bread, harvested wheat and barley. These sloping hills also gave way to vineyards. It was a small city waiting for a big promise. Bethlehem didn’t seem to hold its breath waiting for the prophecy to be fulfilled, but it was ready.
This past year has been a year of being ready. And it’s not the things I thought or had on my 2023 goals list. Yet, God brought some amazing opportunities because, I was ready. Perhaps God was waiting for me to be a Bethlehem? Prepared, open, eager and waiting! Jesus is waiting to do amazing things in our life, if we make room for Bethlehem moments. Merry Christmas and may you move some stuff out of the way and donate a few useless boxes of junk in your heart so there is room for Bethlehem to come alive in you.

The cutest cow I have ever seen.

I am up for a unique experience anytime. This weekend was no different. It was a rainy weekend at the lake and I started scouring the paper for something to do. Hockey tournament was too far away, but I saw a church was having their children’s Advent Christmas program: I didn’t give Jim a choice.

It was a typical small town church and the pastor especially was friendly and talked to us awhile before the people started sitting down and a hush came over the small crowd. We had a program in our hand and the names of the kids and what they were. Lots of animals: a skunk, a cow, and an owl just to mention a few. It was called Advent Christmas and it was an advent adventure to the manger using Bible verses and inspired by “Cheese Ball Chick’s Advent Calendar. There were 25 verses and the verses were represented by animals at the manger. Like, “Sometimes you might get scared and act like a chicken, but greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.” Had I known it would be such great costumes and silliness, I would have sat on the aisle and made Jim sit in farther. I did get up and move to see better because from the first verse, Day 1 and the cow coming in mooing, I knew it would be a unique church christmas play.

The cow was the first kid in. He was a hit because he knew his role. Moo! He was a cow and the cutest cow you have ever seen. His verse was, “The Lord mooooooved from heaven to earth for you and came as a baby.” John 15:12-13. This went on for 24 more verses. We had a fox, racoon, owl, chicken, and even snowballs flying, assumably large cotton balls. We are to love our “neigh” bors and a “horse want to be” came loping (well if a child can lope) down the aisle.

It was a cute idea, inspired by “Cheese Ball Chick” and yes she is on Facebook and has quite an idea to make the advent calendar experience more than candy and toys.

For me, I laughed! I laughed most of the play. It took us longer to drive there and drive back than the play lasted, but it was well worth it. I laughed because the cow, took my heart! He knew his job: to moo. He hadn’t been primed in cow behavior on a stage in a funny uniform that probably itched, with black hooves on his hands and a tail. What he discovered was the bannister in the front of the church. Not only could you sit on it, but you could lay on it and flip over. I did get a video of that. What made me happy, or perhaps amused me the most, is no one tried to make him be a proper cow. They let him be himself. After all, no one really knows how a cow would act if it came up on the stage at church anyway.

I watched him, laughed out-loud, too much according to Jim, and stood up so I could see better.

It reminded me that God let’s me be who I am, it’s people who want to change me. God created me with my gifts and talents. It’s others who tell me what I can and can’t do. It’s also God that lets me flip over the bannisters and smiles knowing that I am okay, it really doesn’t matter, after all He created me that way. Eventually He knows I will wander back to worship. And by the end of the advent play when Mary and Joseph showed up with a real live 3 month baby, he found himself wandering back to look at the baby, to dance with the other animals (kids dressed up) and even bowed down to worship as the song was being sung. After all, that’s probably what a cow would have done back in the time Christ was born.

Total utter chaos

Absolutely utter chaos! Did I ever let my kids play on top of the table? Did I ever let the kids hit grandpa on top of the head with a bottle cleaner? Well, If I did, did we encourage it again?

A car drove in yesterday, I knew it cuz the dog barked. Usually I am excited to see the mailman drive up cuz that means it’s a package. Yesterday I greeted him with, darn, I thought you were the grandbaby! He just smiled, then handed me the package.

I remember when Addlea was a baby and we would watch her sleep!!! Yes, we watched her sleep, had I been smarter, I would have been sleeping too!!!

Last night we watched an over stimulated toddler dance on the table, knock grandpa over the head with the bottle cleaner, run, laugh, babble, say please, beg for the remote, kiss weird baby kisses and become best friends with whoever had a phone in their hand. It didn’t take long for people to start hiding their phones, and the remotes: again!

What changes in our life when absolutely utter chaos is a joy? It’s the heart. I could be in someone else’s life, other peoples kids, grandkids, friends and I might find it inconvenient and perhaps rude. But they are mine: God gave them by hook or crook and it’s my chaos! My absolutely utter chaos. And if the other three were here, we would be encouraging the other toddler to do things to make us laugh, slightly out of the parenting phase and totally into “grandmas house, grandmas has no rules”!

God looks at us and sees our lives in absolutely utter chaos! Yet he embraces us, loves us, laughs with us, maybe at us, hugs us and picks up the toys we throw all over the floor because… we are his kids, his grandkids, his friends! And if God has a big table, he would let us dance on it! He delights in our lives! He delights in the utter chaos of our lives and eventually we will lie down to sleep and he will pray over us and watch us sleep! Psalm 33:8 “You can rest without worry or fear—all night—because while you rest God is watching over you.”

Looking for the wise men

It hasn’t even happened yet, and I am looking for the wise men. Christmas is over. That’s the beauty and the joy of holidays- sometimes they come and go before the calendar says they are here. We have wrapped, unwrapped, laughed, eaten, joked, kissed baby faces and wiped snot off him and us, and they are gone! Christmas is over- and it isn’t even Christmas Eve.

So this morning before the sun even considered peaking over the eastern sky, I found myself looking for wise men.

In our world, or rather in my world, the wise men weren’t at the manger. Okay- In the original Christmas story they didn’t come for awhile so I took that literally and when the kids were little, we didn’t place the wise men at the manger. They wandered around the house but never showed up at the Nativity scenes that I had set up. There was one rule- if you found the wise men, hide them again. It became quite the adventure. Refrigerator, top of a shelf, on the piano, and in the flour bin. The wise men traveled all over and then got put away for another year without the beauty of meeting Jesus.

As I sit in the quiet watching the lights on the tree, it’s over and I began looking ahead to what’s next. I began thinking about the wise men before Jesus was even born. Sometimes we do that. We don’t let the beauty of the moment, last for the whole moment before we think about what’s next. There are still Christmas songs to sing, gifts to deliver, cinnamon rolls to make and I have three days before the main event, yet, I am already thinking ahead to the wise men: what happens next.

As I sit praying for people, I must remind myself to not put the cart in front of the horse, which means changing the logical order of things. Celebrate with whomever is with you at the time, and enjoy that moment. Sometimes in our western culture we don’t savor the moments.

Last night at a party, there was a piñata!

After the smashing, and missing, and hitting, and more than a few laughs, the lots of assorted candy came flying out. I saw it right away and went back, well 50 some plus a few years. Sugar Daddy’s. The most wonderful sucker in the world.

Why do I bring up Sugar Daddy’s? Because you had to lick it slow, it lasted forever (in a kids mind) and you could wrap it back up and later it would be just as awesome. Of course we didn’t get candy much if ever so it was savor, enjoy, make it last, and lick with intention! Savor! Slowly lick! Enjoy. Lick again. The best definition I found for savor was, “to enjoy an experience slowly, in order to enjoy it as much as possible:” The next few days I am going to “Sugar Daddy” my experiences. . I am going to enjoy the moments I find myself in, slowly “to enjoy it as much as possible”. So the presents are unwrapped, but I can enjoy them now. The baby and his mama and daddy are driving back to Illinois. I have 4500 pictures on my phone to enjoy and treasure. There are more people to see, a few phone conversations to have, and Christmas eve to be mesmerized with and cinnamon rolls to deliver Christmas morning. Savor! Make this Christmas be a Sugar Daddy experience, and enjoy the experience slowly so you enjoy it as much as possible. The wise men will show up: eventually!

Stay out of the kitchen!

I learned something this weekend. “Stay out of the kitchen”. Now before you think I quit cooking, baking or eating, let me explain.

I had the highest honor in the world, perhaps slightly exaggerated, to play in a pickle ball tournament. Never mind I had played pickle ball once before Thursday night. Never mind a bad knee, ridiculous cold and crazy wind and a parking lot of a grocery store in small town Illinois! Why should lack of knowledge, experience or physical ability keep one from having such an experience?

So I didn’t and still don’t get all the rules but I did learn to stay out of the kitchen. The kitchen is a section taped off by the net!

First round we played two senior citizens and their team name was “pumpkin and spice.” We didn’t have a name and we were younger. They won! We laughed. We took a selfie and laughed some more. We did win one game and irony would have it we beat the team that went on the win the beginners level. The two who hadn’t played more than twice in their life actually beat people who played several times a week.

What I saw evolve was the other teams become our encouragers. It was obvious we had no clue and yet we held our own and placed 4th out of 7. If gold is first, silver is second , bronze is third then we were iron!!!

We might not have had a fancy name or matching outfits but we had fun. We didn’t get a medal to hang around our neck, but we had fun. I wonder how long we can tell our husbands we have to stay out of the kitchen and they think it’s funny? My knee hurts, I am very tired, drove through Illinois, Iowa and southern Minnesota and home looks good. Pickle ball? It’s kind of addicting!!!!!

Sometimes we need a pot of stew

Mark 12 is where I am camped out this morning. I have been in Mark all year and it’s been so interesting to just read and think over a passage a long period of time. However, this love stuff keeps cropping up. One of the important people, a scribe, asked Jesus what is the first commandment? At that time, they were living in a sacrificial society. You brought your sacrifices, and offerings. The scribes made sure the laws were followed, interpreted and often rewrote explanations beyond what really was said or meant. So to have them question Jesus as for a deeper explanation would have been consistent with their calling. But how the scribe answers Jesus got me thinking. Mark 12:33 he says, “ and to love him with all the heart, and with all the understanding , with all the soul, and with all the strength,and to love one’s neighbor as oneself, is more than all the whole burnt offerings and sacrifices.”
Well that’s not really what Jesus said. Jesus never said anything about understanding! And then the scribe adds the tag about burnt offerings and sacrifices. It’s like he added an illustration at the end. Sometimes our understanding what Jesus means, needs an illustration. It needs a pot of stew! We can love people with our heart, soul and mind, but sometimes loving people is a pot of stew! It’s the “understanding” what they need and doing it! Love your neighbor like yourself. Sometimes that’s a lot harder than writing a check or ringing bells at Christmas time in front of the grocery store. Sometimes that pot of stew weighs more than we want to carry. Love in action, that pot of stew, sometimes takes you where you don’t want to go to be with people you don’t care about and staying longer than you anticipated. You would rather offer a burnt offering or sacrifice! Burnt offerings and sacrifices can become rote and without meaning. You put a check in. Nowadays you venmo and have auto transfer. But that pot of stew, that’s love in action. That’s the greatest commandment of all! 

Leaves

Psalm 1:3 “And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.” I am beginning to walk through the back side of this verse that is our reality. Leaves are starting to fall. There are trees that leaves do not wither, but it isn’t in northern Wisconsin on my walk to the mailbox. They are beautiful, they are colorful and they are everywhere. I love green, and it might be nice to have a tree always have it’s leaves, but there is a beauty at this time of year unsurpassed by any other up north.

According to Farmer’s Almanac, All leaves have chemicals in them and chlorophyll, is responsible for absorbing sunlight and gives leaves their green color. When chlorophyll breaks down the other colors are seen. It’s a combination of less daylight, cooler temps and the change in nutrients due to the winter coming on.

As much as leaves are nice on the tree to give shade, give habitat to other animals and make a gorgeous photo, when they start changing color, it’s breathtaking.

Now a leaf could hang on, fight the change, dye itself and pretend to be green longer, but once it’s wall of cells start blocking off the twig and the leaf stalk, it’s over. Eventually it will fall in the breeze, or just calmly float to the ground to amaze us with it’s color and it’s design.

Life sometimes creates a wall of cells in places we are, people we care about and situations that we find ourselves in. As much as we try to keep on the tree (figuratively) it’s just a matter of time before we aren’t gaining nutrients from that situation, that person or that place. We need to quit pretending we are a green leaf, and let the situation go. Yes, the changing leaves on the trees make beautiful photos, but even more breathtaking are the walks in the woods during the change, as the leaves float to the ground and even raking them up, there is beauty and wonder in the diversity of each leaf. We wouldn’t see that if they stayed 15′ up in a tree.

It is a reminder to me that as life changes, let the beauty of who God made us to be, be evident in all stages in our lives. On the tree, be beautiful. As life changes things we cannot control, be beautiful and let your real colors show. Falling: float with the wind and on the ground walked on by others, just be the person God made you to be. Sometimes the leaf needs to be fallen off the tree, to see how beautiful God made it to be.

Benching!

I am benching. I have placed my self on a bench outside the arenas and am entertained and perhaps laughing at the conversations that surround me. It’s the State Horse show in St Paul. There is no loss for beautiful horses, nervous young people, cowboy hats and yes, little green piles on the streets that remind us a horse walked by.

In front of me a family is fixing a chain halter with , electrical tape. The girl is asking where her gloves are to which the mom says she gave them to the daughter who holds her hands wide open and says not me, of which the mom says yes I did and the girl says you have them to dad. Dad is calmly wrapping the electrical tape and the mom walks around him and pulls the gloves out of the pocket of his jeans.

A golf cart goes by and a young man goes flying off it- to which a girl beside me walking a horse yells, that’s why it’s not a good idea to do that. I missed the “do that “ part but I am guessing he was standing on top of the golf cart.

Kids walk by with ribbons some of the faces shining with pride, others with disappointment. Ribbon-less kids walk by some just happy to be here, other making excuses why they didn’t place. Nerves, fly spray bottles and hoof paint jars hang off the moms walking behind them. Yes, you can see nerves hanging. We don’t hide our feelings very well sometimes. It’s kind of like the piles on the street. Yes, Marette went by- she left a pile of nerves. Or hey did you see where Marette went? Follow the piles she left behind. Sometimes nerves come out in words, sighs, poorly placed eye rolling moments or that awkward silent treatment!

So the mantra up here is watch where you walk, and don’t go barefoot! That’s probably good advice for our daily walk. Leave things that won’t mess people up if they step in them: kindness, love, peace, sweetness and ”what can I do for you” piles. Several times yesterday I picked up manure picks and picked up manure. It wasn’t mine- I don’t have a horse here. But it was mine to pick it up because I am a part of this horse community. Take a look around your community and be a part of making it a better place to walk, live and love regardless of who made the messes. For you see to a horse person, a healthy horse is a horse who has a healthy digestive system!!!! We got lots of healthy up here in mid central Minnesota!!!!!

To Everything there is a season

To everything there is a season. We tend to cling to seasons we love and put off seasons we dread. The changing of time waits for no one to be ready, prepare themselves or make excuses. The water at the lake we used to jump into, is now becoming icy cold and the wind blows up cool air that chills the bones. Yet, it’s a beautiful change.

Lord give me the wisdom to be flexible as change happens. Help me embrace your faith in me to handle it with grace. Your Holy Spirit within me, gives me all I need to change the calendar, to move the needle, to open the door or close the door. Because of your grace, I can be the evidence of a life that can change seasons by being merciful and loving to those walking before me, those walking with me and those following after me.

Unlikely Events

The unlikely events in life lead to incredible experiences. Tonight, I pick one of those experiences up from the airport for a traditional vacay! We vacate our families, we vacate our norms and we pick up where we left off to just chill and enjoy a few days. But it was the most unlikely circumstances that led to 31 years of friendship. It was in the bathroom.

Now men probably don’t form relationships and make dates, but a restroom is an opportunity for women to bond: no criticism allowed, God made us that way. 1991 we met in a ladies restroom at church. We were both pregnant. We were both crisis pregnancies. For me it was our second child, for her it was her, with their second.

Since then, lots of water under the bridge and lots of bridges, boats, canoes, trolling motors, airplane flights, long drives across the south to meet, to visit, to plan, to drive our husbands nuts, mission trips, and it all started because she initiated conversation. There was a choice of just smiling and walking out the door. There is always the choice to be polite. There is also always the choice to invest in relationship. It is an investment. It’s a choice of when to invest, how to invest and what to lay down, so we both have the time to invest. I have met many people I might have clicked with more, had more in common, but they or I choose not to initiate conversation or invest in time. It takes time to make friendships. It takes time to listen and to hear. I took time this morning ,out of a crazy day to go sit at a restaurant and meet a little boy named Westly. We make time for what we choose to invest in.

Between Awkward and Uncomfortable

Between Awkward and Uncomfortable, this year has been those two words. So far, the changes have been manageable and not quite as uncomfortable as awkward: until yesterday. Being a friend, well, it places you in awkward and uncomfortable. This past week we stepped up to care for twins, almost a year old. That’s not awkward or uncomfortable, thats lost of coo’s, and slobber, and sweet potatoes and avocado’s on the floor. Sunday was a bit of awkward. I left church as soon as I finished playing and went to relieve the morning person. We had lunch, they ate what I fed them and Jim brought me real food! We played and then we, meaning me, decided we needed a nap. I laid down Odelia in her crib and Luma was having nothing of it so I sat in the rocking chair and began singing. Not sure it was the singing or the rocking or the being tired, but she was gone. I could hear Odelia talking herself to sleep and all was quiet! I laid down Luma in her bed and went to stretch out on the couch. Sunday afternoon, ballgame on the radio, babies sleeping: almost heaven! Then I heard it: the whimper. There are varying degrees of crying. The whimper, the cry, the accelerated cry, and the wailing. We never got to gnashing of teeth, but it would have been next. I went in and picked her up hoping to avoid the other baby waking. As I stood and rocked her there was a gentle shaking: it was the other baby standing up in her crib shaking the sides smiling! The common sense part of me left the building. I went over and picked her up. Holding two babies, I backed up and sat in the rocking chair. There are moments when you go back instantly to survival mode as a mom. My youngest is 28 but I know it well; just get them to sleep a bit longer! So I began rocking and gently talking. For some of you, that’s a new quality you didn’t know I possessed: gently talking! It worked. Eyes sank and bodies relaxed: all except mine. I was sitting in a rocker, not really made for two babies hanging off a lap. In my mind I thought, Robyn is going to leave work at 3, this is 2:20, no problem. I rocked, they slept. I had no phone, I had no clock, I had no way to tell time except the awkwardness of sitting in a place that really didn’t fit the three of us. Every once in awhile I would scoot myself, move a baby, afraid to lay one down for sure they would both wake, and determined, how long can it be?

We slept, yes even me, and I didn’t drop a baby. I figured how much time had evolved, hoped the next sound I heard was daddy coming home, praying, slept again, scooted, woke both babies up with that scoot, and that gentle voice got them back to sleep.

Awkward yes! Uncomfortable yes! Doable? Obviously doable but there were moments when the awkward and the uncomfortable almost made me forget the goal or perhaps the unwritten rule, “NEVER wake a sleeping baby”.

God puts us in places where we don’t really want to be, for time periods that make us squirm, in positions that don’t feel right and yet we know we need to be there. After all, it’s just a passing season of life right? What kept me staying there? The need and the love for those sleeping babies. What keeps us doing things that we don’t want to do, in places we don’t want to be, for time periods that go on endlessly? Our love for others and their needs is what should be the motivator, between awkward to uncomfortable.

Eventually I heard daddy come in. He assumed I was trying to get them to sleep so didn’t come into the bedroom. After about 10 more minutes I said to myself, “self, this is going to have to be a long enough short nap” It’s interesting how without a way to tell time, we have no clue how long or short our awkward and uncomfortable is. I woke them up. Yes, I did the unthinkable. I staggered to my feet, positioned one in each arm as now their eyes were bright and excited and we walked out to meet daddy. That’s when I looked at the clock. I had been in that position almost 2 hours.

Sometimes between awkward and uncomfortable God has our attention in ways we don’t listen between comfortable and contented!

HAGGIS

Haggis- that’s all I needed to hear and I turned to Jim and said, “had it- in Scotland”. He just rolled his eyes at me: I’m not sure he believed me and not sure he cared!

When I was a kid, yes here we go down memory lane, my teacher called my mother in for a conference. It seemed to the teacher that I was fabricating stories. So after explaining to my mother about my always raising my hand and saying, “I’ve been there”, or “I’ve done that” when the teacher was talking about something in class, my mother asked the teacher to give her an example.

The teacher told her that when they talked about the White House, I said I had been there. My mother said, well she has. Well we were talking about the governors office and Marette said she sat in the governors desk in Kentucky, to which my mother said, she did.

Well, the teacher went on, she says she has been to Cape Canaveral. Mother then realized what was happening. Part of it was my father’s fault. He felt that if we went anywhere, we had to learn something! And if there was a brown historical site sign, the car automatically turned in and we read, it, walked it, learned it, and took a picture by it. The picture by the way was taken with an old camera and they were slides. Mother told the teacher I didn’t have a problem with lying, I had the problem of having been there and done that. For a 2nd grader, I guess the teacher thought it was a bit far fetched that I had been such an adventurer.

Somewhere on a TV show this evening, I heard the word “haggis”. I couldn’t resist turning to Jim and saying, “had it- in Scotland.” What I didn’t say, was how much I liked it or didn’t like it. I might have to go back and try it again just to be sure of either opinion.

We all have things we have done, the “Haggis” moments, because we were “there”. Actually Haggis wasn’t bad, now the orange drink, Irn-Bru, is a totally different thought. Had it: don’t want to brag about it.

There are things in life that merit us declaring we lived through. There are things in life that we may not want to do again, but doing it once, well, if someone asks, I’m gonna tell. Partially the way we form relationships is when you share what you have been through, and someone else looks at you and says, “You too?” Don’t be afraid to raise your hand and let the teacher know you were there. There will be moments for Haggis and Irn-Bru. Hopefully you live long enough to enjoy a few, and let others know you lived to tell about it!

The Holy Spirit

I didn’t know much about the Holy Spirit: a mystery us kids memorized from Acts 2:38. I don’t understand much about the Holy Spirit. It’s kind of like algebra: supposedly important but hard to apply.

The Holy Spirit is often not expected, oh yes prayed for but not prepared for, and then the Holy Spirit shows up. Kind of like when someone you didn’t know was coming walks through the door and says surprise.Your heart jumps out of your chest and you almost fall to your knees with gratitude and thankfulness.

I am amazed and slightly overwhelmed when I pray for God to move and the ground starts shaking. Okay, almost never visibly but internally.

Acts 1:8 “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Minnesota and Wisconsin , and in all the Midwest and maybe even Tennessee.”

For those Bible scholars, that’s not actually what it says, but if I am to be Jesus where I am, that’s where I am. I am at a lake in the middle of wisconsin with some people I have never met and Ida.

Who is Ida you may ask? That’s my Holy Spirit’s name. Someone challenged me one time, to name the presence of the Holy Spirit within me and converse with it as a friend and confidant. Well I thought he was nuts, but it got me thinking, which is what friends need to do: challenge each other to think.

I have been praying for two specifics, only the Trinity would know: God, Jesus and Ida. This weekend, the front door opens and in walks Ida. She isn’t always quiet and polite either but more like barging through the door saying, pardon me, excuse me, let’s get out the spiritual Lysol and clean hearts. It always amazes me as I sense God working through Ida. It’s kind of like watching a world championship and knowing that losing means second place and second place in the world, is an awesome place to be. Being a part of the Holy Spirit move, well it’s pretty neat to be in the midst of. Now if only Ida would finish cleaning the lake-house and drive me home!!!

Grandpa & Happiness

Happiness: It’s the simple things in life. Sometimes we make life so complicated. All the stars have to line up and everything be right (our definition of right) before we can be happy. Happiness is always elusive and generally disappointing. For Grandpa, this was his happy place. Home on the farm, on his four wheeler. We knew when he began to back out slowly from his garage that he was in his happy place. He was either checking gopher traps, seeing what Jim was doing, making a neighborhood run up the gravel road, or just toodeling (yes that’s a word). Find something simple that brings happiness and do it. Don’t make it about other people and how they act, or fail to act. Don’t make happiness about what you accomplish or fail at. Let happiness just be who you are, where God has placed you in the simple things in life. This was after a stressful couple weeks of him being in the hospital, then care center, then burying his only remaining sibling, and yet, he was happy. He chose to be happy. We could learn from Grandpa. I miss him- it’s pretty quiet on the farm without that toodeling sound. Oh, and by the way, he was 93.

10 ways to love

Listen without interrupting, speak without accusing, give without sparing, Pray without ceasing, Answer without arguing, Share without pretending, Enjoy without complaining, Trust without wavering, Forgive without punishing and Promise without forgetting.

New Life

New life! It’s spring which means growth of all kinds. The corn popping up through the ground, soybeans germinated already and nowhere more evident that the beauty of God than watching nature come alive. As I sit looking down at the beautiful perennials lining the hillside, it’s evidence of Gods creation. Not just that he could create but that he did and with such variety. One of my favorite is the bleeding heart. Perhaps I can identify because my heart has bled a few times and never looked this beautiful. But then again by whose standards? Perhaps to God my contrite heart is as beautiful as this is to me. And if that wasn’t enough, I peeked around the corner at the robins nest! Two weeks ago it was just pretty blue eggs. This morning, beaks waiting for mama who is far more concerned that I am this close to her babies. I imagine God just nearby watching

over me as life peaks at me. He is close enough, and if I need protecting he will come flying from wherever just as the mama robin would give me a very close flyby if I dare venture any closer than my arm and camera are. My devotions this morning aren’t words but incredible beauty God chose to pour my way.

Ripples

When we were kids we loved the north shore and skipping rocks. Perhaps there was a bit of competition amongst the siblings, but the ripples were what we went for. Ripples told us how many skips we did.

Life seems to be skipping rocks and looking for ripples. Life can be frustrating, fulfilling and forever trying to get another ripple. What if we looked at every day as ripples? Some ripples are intentional, other by coincidence and others maybe a bit embarrassing.

Follow me for a bit. Ripples in a pond are a result of three things. Either you jumped into the water, or someone tossed you in the water or the water came up out of nowhere and you find yourself trying to get out thus making ripples. What I have experienced in the ripples of my life and by watching other people, is ripples are caused by our actions, the actions someone else, or something you never saw coming. We explain or blame how the ripples got there and whose fault or who gets the credit for the ripple.

When we do just be a ripple: end of sentence? Things happen in life we can’t control and we find ourself making ripples. Even in the unplanned ripple making moments of life we can be “Jesus”. We can “enspire” others as well as “inspire” by the ripples we make regardless of how we found ourself in the pond.

I actually researched a bit and found that the letters “en” in front of a word change it to a verb. That means one is to be involved in getting something to happen. The word “inspire” means to infuse into the mind. We can be be a ripple , inspire others and help people by challenging their mind and heart to see the good, be the good, and live the good. But what if we were an” enspirator”? That’s when we can urge them to make something happen. I have heard lots of people say they were inspired by the talk, book, example, but we need to be enspired, which is action!

Ripples: regardless of how we have made them in life, even through the actions of others who may have thrown us into the pond, can make a difference in others lives. So my new word for the day, yes I made it up, enspire! Urge people to action not just infuse their minds with ideas! Something to think about! Maybe that’s what Paul means by Hebrews 10:24-25 “Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works” Go “enspire” someone today. Go be a ripple, make a ripple, and see enspire others to ripple!

Bigger than Life

Bigger than life. As a kid that doesn’t take much, but as one grows, sometimes the bigger than life gets smaller as we age. In my heart as a kid, there were a few men who were bigger than life. And, as I have grown, they have stayed, bigger than life. Not that they were perfect, by no means, but that the presence they held in our hearts, was and always will be, bigger than life. Two of the three are gone now. Mike Clement ended his journey down here, two years to the day, after his wife Joan passed away.

I remember first meeting the Clement family about the time Dave was born. Our families did much together. They were one of our parents closest friends. Canoeing, camping, trips up north, church rallies, and time at both farms. We played chicken in the back yard, probably not the best name for it, but you had a smaller person on your back, and you would try to pull the other person off the back of the other person. We always wanted to be on Mike’s team. Mike made playing fun. Maybe too fun, but Mike was referred to as the “fun guy to be with”. I never saw him without a smile and a laugh.

Through the years when life changed, their presence in our life remained. As our father was sick and dying of cancer, we knew Mike and Joan would be there. Mike worked for us, either at the farm or my brothers place. Mike could do a little of everything. When I lived in that little apartment in Kasson near the pool, Mike stayed in the attic room upstairs. I would come home and hear clanging as I walked down the basement stairs. Mike would be in my apartment lifting weights. I guess he didn’t want to lift them all the way up to the attic!!! I would make him food and we would sit and talk. Memories wrap up our lives and much of our growing up was tied to the Clement family.

When mother was in the hospital, Mike and Joan were there when the Dr. came in to share the news that the cancer was terminal. Joan asked if they should go, mother said, no you are family.

I don’t think Mike had a volume control on his voice, but definitely not when he was singing. Camp time singing, mens quartets, or leading the songs at church, Mike was one of the best. Many times at Cowboy Church I would make sure I had a song Mike could sing. Mike never needed a microphone: Mike was a microphone.

The three things that I can’t get past, the bigger than life, was Mike’s faith, his fun, and his friendships. I never had to worry if I was accepted into Mike’s life: his bear hugs and smile were from the heart. He preached his faith and lived his faith, and he had fun in life! That doesn’t mean he was perfect, far from it. That doesn’t mean he didn’t struggle, miss the mark, and fall on his face. What it did mean, was when he got up, he got up with his faith, his humor and with a song.

Perhaps what days like this do to the heart is realize the next generation, is us. Our parents are gone. We are the ones holding the faith to pass on. We have two ways to look at the “bigger than life” people who have now moved on. We can mourn their passing which we do, and wish for the past or we can take what we learned from them, and become them. We can be the “bigger than life people”, to others. Eventually the time will come for you to take the baton. Grasp the chance to be bigger than life to those coming behind, watching you live. Be Jesus with your faith, always have fun and let music be what others hear from the way you live.

A great Miracle has happened here.

I didn’t grow up celebrating Christmas. Believe me, I am making up for it now. However, what makes Christmas more moving and deeper into the heart has been learning and celebrating the festival of Chanukah. It is usually celebrated before Christmas, sometime in December, and it’s 8 days of celebrating! It all started with my need to know more about the Jewish heritage and festivals of the Old Testament. I have Menorah’s, beautiful tableclothes from Israel, have learned how to make Sufganiyot, latkes and have almost conquered the Hebrew blessings. We have dreidels and play the game. The writing on the dreidels are the letters that refer to the letters, Nun, Gimel, Hei, and Pei. Those stand for which stand for Nes Gadol Haya Poh – “a Great Miracle Happened Here”.

It’s not Christmas time, it’s not even July yet, but I have been in the middle of “a Great miracle happened here.”

There are a few things in life that I marvel at. Most of them are things I do not understand and have to rely on my faith and my knowing that I will probably NEVER understand. My experiencing a miracle, simply has to satisfy my heart and not worry about answers to the questions I have about how, why or how did that happen?

I have been holding a miracle. It’s number three grand-baby, our second grand-daughter. I found myself once again, as I have with all our children when they were born, many of my friends children and now grandchildren, holding them in my arms and finding myself thinking, “a great miracle happened here.” Oh I know the medical explanation and I think I understand it but I don’t. I am holding a miracle. I am holding the image of God. There was a commitment that brought the child to be. The long, yes 9 months can be a very long time, and what one human gave up, to bring that miracle to the moment of birth and that first breath outside the womb. The morning sickness, the needing to use the bathroom more often, and the body changing sizes that comes with a growing baby. There are also many awkward moments, the sudden tears, ice cream, pickles, or whatever craving one has at the moment.

I am quiet, I am rocking without a rocker, patting without a beat and moving anyway the sleeping baby needs to move to keep her sleeping. Her nose, her closed eyelids, the tiny fingers, and perfect for piano playing in later years. She is so tiny, so perfect, so dependent on me at the moment, and so unaware of the world and it’s struggles. She is a miracle.

We don’t grasp miracles in our hearts enough. We change miracles diapers, we wipe off the spit up, we walk the floors and we maybe even get a little frustrated with the miracles we sometimes forget is a miracle!

I am not sure what the big brother thinks about the miracle. I am pretty sure none of my siblings thought of me as a miracle when I was born. I pray I never cease to marvel when I see the miracle of a baby, that I always think who gave the miracle, and how amazing the images of God on this earth are so unique, so different, so precious and so welcomed into our lives.

Dorcas- Intentional Living