Category: Devotions

I just finished reading a devotional that changed my mindset on hardship..primarily conflict. I don’t like conflict. I am married to someone who doesn’t like confrontation. That’s actually a pretty good combination except when you have it: conflict. Someone has to talk or respond to conflict and hardship. Usually it’s negative. Our fur gets rattled, the hair on the back of our neck stands ups, we talk in higher voices and we get edgy; extremely edgy and irritated and NOT nice.

The devotion challenged me to think of hardship or conflict as opportunity. Opportunity to live by faith. When someone totally disagrees with me, that’s my chance to love like Jesus would have loved. To listen and love not listen and prepare my response. Opportunity to live and possibly die professing the faith I claim to have. Cancer, accidents, life changing and life limiting gives me the open door to live like I am dying, which ironically I am. These times give me a chance to let people see what my faith is worth. When bad things happen, find some good in them. Esther, made for a time such as this, Joseph, you mean it for evil, God meant it for good.

This past two years have been hardship. Things that I would have never imagined, coming into my back door and leaping on my back. Not just leaping in my back, but gripping with claws and tearing the skin, conflict from people I would have never dreamed conflict with, in ways that back my mouth gape with shock. I stand there with my mouth hanging open, surprised and appalled and how do I respond? God wanted me to respond with an opportunity to be Jesus in the moment. I don’t want to be Jesus. I want to be right. I want to feel that justice is served. I want poor leadership to be fired. I want the incompetent to be replaced with those who have the ability. I want the words to be taken back and an apology given. I want a hug not another slashing of the spiritual tire on my heart. I want a friend not an enemy… How do I see opportunity?

I see it by knowing that I have been forgiven much and loved much by a God who simply spoke and things were created. I look outside my window and see the sun rising and no one had to tell it to. I hear the phone ring, yes I was asleep, and I am talking to someone thousands of miles away because Jesus loved us both and we have this cool common bond where in normal life we would have nothing in common. Opportunity …. Hardship… equals… a touch mouthful on a Thursday morning…

Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” So I don’t have to “do” the opportunity, God will do it through Christ through me. Makes it seem to be something it maybe can handle….

Overwhelmed and disappointment: two words that are powerful. Overwhelmed means you are covered over, or perhaps you are lying under. That can mean physically, emotionally or spiritually. Something has you covered in some way. Disappointment, well that’s breaking the word down and having the joy and excitement of an appointment, something to look forward to, something to get excited about, and going the opposite way- being dissed so to speak. Losing joy, not being excited, not having something to look forward to and having the forces of negativity directing your heart. So why are we disappointed? For me, so often it is people. People going back on their word, breaking a promise, being disrespectful, not working together, not seeing the big picture, not being truthful about life in general. I don’t get disappointed when things don’t work out when it’s been tried and not accomplished. That is called trial and error and doesn’t affect me a bit except to challenge me to find a way to make it work. It’s when people choose to not fulfill their part of the bargain that disappoints me. Failure is ok…failure to try is not.

Overwhelmed, that is a big word. It’s like being in a thunderstorm and there is no where to run. You are totally surrounded. You are 100% covered. No dry spot on you, no dry spot under your shoes and the umbrella you had just burst a big rip and you have water dripping off your glasses onto your nose, that to me, is overwhelmed. I don’t like wet clothes. I don’t like standing in wet shoes. I do love rain but not in winter and not when I have no protection. As a kid we used to get caught in the bern during a rain storm and it was one of the most wonderful feelings ever. Sitting by the door watching it rain was a special feeling. I could run to the house, I could step back into the huge barn with the hay and snuggle down for a nap but just sitting watching the storm roll in,,, I can still see it in my mind,

When I get overwhelmed, and it’s more often than I would like to admit, I put myself emotionally in that barn. God has become my barn. He has me covered, overwhelmed, but in a safe, special place. I can’t see how the disappointment has hurt me because I am in the barn. I can’t hear the people talking, all I hear is the rain on the roof and the thunder rolling. The barn roof has blocked out the people’s voices, words and the walls keep them from stabbing my heart.

God won’t disappoint me; he will allow others to disappoint because he wants me to look at him and not at them. He meets me in his word not in their back yard. It’s hard to do especially when people don’t live by the same standards : even in the Christian world, there are so many times we don’t act like Jesus. We act like us, with Jesus as a light jacket. Light jackets don’t cover and they don’t keep warm. Eventually others will see you from under the light Jesus jacket and the real person flops through hurting others and causing disappointment and feelings of overwhelming for those we encounter. To be covered we need to be totally overwhelmed by God so none of us sticks out anywhere.

So go find a barn. Maybe that’s why I love barn photos. It’s a comfort for me. We don’t have a barn at the farm…that is my one regret. I love barns. But I do have a God, a big barn where disappointment and overwhelming feelings can be handled and I feel safe and protected.

I take notes at funerals. I take notes about all the time actually, so it’s really no different to have my notebook, the little aqua green one out and a pen and begin writing. Actually it’s a great diversion in case I need to occupy myself but at the same time have people think I am actually interested. So, though the truth may hurt, you may not be as interesting as you think you are if I am taking notes while you are taking. Never the less, last week I had two funerals to take notes at. The first funeral had many more pages than the second. My heart was at the first with many more years of being invested in the life we were celebrating.

One of the statements made was, “We don’t see greatness cuz we get hung up on the flaws of people.”  While that is a great statement and one we should really seriously think about, I turned it the other way. I want people to not get hung up on my flaws. I want to work on them. I want to not have flaws but the flaws I have I pray fervently that people don’t stumble over them and hit the sidewalk with their chin. We are inspired by Paul not to be a stumbling block.  Romans 14:13  “Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this–not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother’s way”  So, if I rephrase that, don’t judge other people and put classifications on them. Don’t look at what they do and determine who they are although that is tempting and perhaps truthful. But rather, focus on yourself being what you don’t think others should be either. Be an example.  Yes, you have flaws. Yes, you have some pretty big things to work on however, don’t focus on your flaws and don’t let them be what others see. Look at others through Jesus eyes- see a work in progress. When people see you, let them see you loving so much that the things that may drive them nutty about you, are just things; love comes out through the holes in your character rather than the attitudes and judgments of the culture.  And mostly, look at other people and see their potential. Look at that little kid running in circles around your feet and tripping you up; look at him as chasing after God. See the little girl twirling in her beautiful skirt, and see her dancing before her heavenly father. Look at the man with the walker and see the years of life under his belt not the bent over shoulders. Buy him lunch and coffee and listen. Look at the haggard mother with three crying children; and if you haven’t had all three crying at the same time you really haven’t lived! Tell her she’s doing awesome. Offer a hand. Encourage with a smile; buy the kids a lollipop! Well, maybe not give them sugar but look at people with the eyes of Jesus not with the eyes of our human condemning spirit.  On Ruth Graham’s tombstone is a saying, “Construction finished. Thanks for being patient.” Look at everyone you encounter as a construction zone. Drive slower, look for potholes, go away from the orange cone and put your brakes on. Fines are always double in a construction zone.Think of that as you encounter people. We are all under construction! Go easy on each other! Look for the greatness; don’t search for the flaws.

I sit in reality; in 3 hours we went from 80 degrees to a balmy 18. But reality changed in other ways too. Our plans to be in Charleston, South Carolina for 3 days of ocean, warmth and relaxing changed to last minute airline ticket to Atlanta, sitting among people who I have a history with and a common love for a man who got off the train in heaven. I thought that was the simple change but never realizing that by changing plans to hang around Ashville with Tyler after the pastor at his church suddenly died, we would be in the right place at the right time.
I asked one of the reporters at the Monument in Charlotte yesterday afternoon if he remembered where he was when JFK died, or when Elvis died, or when the Challenger blew up or 911 happened? He wasn’t sure where I was going with the question since obviously most of them he wasn’t alive for. We remember big events in life; I was within 20 miles of Billy Grahams home when he died. We had just been at the Cove; the BGEA training facility near Ashville. Tuesday night, as we sat on the rocking chairs and later I knelt at the prayer circle in the Chapel, it crossed my mind… but more of a question of what Billy Grahams days were like? The waiting on the train to get off in heaven, having done so much here on earth and wondering what is coming next? I thought about it but never imagined it would be in 12 hours that he would be crossing Jordan.
We went to the Library in Charlotte, a time killer for us before we headed for the airport, but when the news broke that he had passed, we drove into media, TV stations, journalists and heavy police presence. Wow- in death you make one more statement that Jesus Christ is worth living and dying for… and free coverage at that.
I will process almost 1000 photos from our weekend. Some will be good, some will be nice and some will be awesome. I am not sure any of them will ever totally portray the emotions felt from the Friday Funeral of our dear friend Fred Miller, to the last day standing at the monument and talking to a total stranger about what faith means and how his life was different because he lived what he believed.
And then of course, eating supper before we left for the airport with friends, we were talking about the upcoming trips to Africa and a lady came over to talk. When you live, you communicate. When you communicate, you touch people’s hearts.When you show Jesus simply by being who you are, you come across as being real. Real people, touch and move other people to think about life.
I hope the words the lady said at Captain D’s, she keeps in her heart. I pray the words I said to the young man make him look not at Billy Graham, but at the God Billy Graham served. And I think it made him think… he had his questions… I had different answers than he was looking for. But in life, isn’t that what we are called to be; different?
An amazing week and all that really went amuck was the suitcase broke and I lost one of my good shoes; the right foot. So, American Airlines has my shoe somewhere between Charlotte and Mpls and I’m okay with that. I might even keep the left one as a reminder of the eventful week. I could put flowers in it or use it as a picture frame holder… Regardless, I will never forget February 15-February 21 of 2018…

We are in the south while the north has an ice form. Part of me wishes I were back home helping Baihley with the horses and dogs and life on the farm. The other part of me says, it’s warm here! Enjoy! Walking through Asheville yesterday we came upon the wall. The wall is close to the double decker bus, which reminds me of England, and close to one of my favorite stores. The wall is about twenty five feet long and looks just like the above photo. People write with chalk, erase others writings, share their thoughts, amuse the world but mostly I think it makes people think. Some of the things people want to do, before they die, are simple. Some are world changing, some are heart rending and some just make you giggle. We came south and I went to two funerals. One, Fred, had done much before he died. Changed many people’s worlds, lived in many different cultures and lived many people. He knew his time was close. The second funeral was of someone who didn’t have a clue he was at his end. Before I die, should perhaps be revised to, while I am still living I will… I have been so disappointed in people who quit living before they quit breathing. No more bucket lists, no goals, no marathons to run, no places to visit but more importantly, no people’s lives to change. For is we live simply to make our own lives better, we have failed in the biggest commandment God gave us. Galatians 6:10 reminds us that, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith. So before I die, I need to love people, care for people, listen to people, send notes to people, call people, pay for someone’s lunch, pay for the schooling for a child in Africa, send a missionary to Haiti, go see aunt pearl, play the piano for the nursing home, pack a blessing basket; get the point. Not just before I die, but while I am yet living. While I have determined in my heart it’s not about me, I need to reach out to others. That’s not necessarily doing things that make me happy, but things that show others what God is doing in my heart while I am still living. And mostly, I need to determine in my heart when I live, Christ lives in me. So not before I die, but while I am still living, Lord let me really live. And a living plant produces fruit. Lord, let me just be putting out fruit: apples, oranges, pineapple and bananas…. and may it be that there are so many bananas that we have to make banana bread.