Category: Devotions

That question is not as important as the questions, “where is your wallet?” Not that I misplace things, lose things or otherwise have no idea where I put something, but it’s at the time that incident might reveal itself is usually quite inconvenient, if not embarressing.

I have left the groceries at the store because I had no wallet. I was checking out: I checked myself out and came back later with a wallet. And then there were a couple times when I had my wallet but somehow the card I needed had taken a road trip to somewhere and not come back to rest in the comforts of the black zippered wallet. It is a very humbling experience when you are forced to show empty hands. It’s also embarrassing. It’s not nearly as powerful in Rochester where the chances of people knowing me are slim but probable. Kasson, Erdmans- I either taught their mother, played for them in the band competition or they know my children. I can’t get away with looking like a fool and someone not reminding me weeks later, “Aren’t you the lady who (fill in the blank)?”

I don’t have a fear of failure- I do it quite well. I don’t fear being embarrassed, I also have come to handle that often and well. The older I get the more I realize that putting on my shorts inside out, having no clue where I am going down a wrong way, or mistaking someone’s identity, this is a regular practice. Should I wonder where my brain is? No, it’s right where it should be but it just sometimes takes a hiatus when it should be engaged.

I wish there were more “duh” moments recorded in the Bible just so I could feel better about my “gears slipping” and my tires going flat with a full load on. However, since I can’t seem to find Peter wrapping his cloak around him upside down, or Jesus turning water into eggnog, I need to remember that laughter is a good medicine and being humble gives us the chance to relate to people in ways that just may love them more than our prideful moments.

Ephesians 4:2 “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” It’s no wonder Paul put the word humble before gentle, patient and bearing one another and tying it up in love. We tend to be prideful, jerk people’s hearts around while tapping our foot in total “I’m ready to move on” moments and forget the love: it went out with the pride. I am not always in a hurry but it seems that when I am I get behind an old Buick (sorry) with a silver Sneaker Sister driving. It used to bother me, now I just think that’s someone’s grandma. I can back off and give her lots of room and time. I see an old hat sitting in the front seat with both hands on the wheel staring at the road ahead going 35 in a 60 and I think, well could be Grandpa Frank. Nah- he would be going 67 in a 60. It changes my perspective when I put the name of someone I loved in front of the thing that may frustrate me.

So perhaps the lady in front of me has so many coupons she can’t find the one she wants, or forgot her wallet, or it’s me pulling a “moment of total loss of anything sane”, the importance is knowing that God lets us be just us. There will be day we won’t have anything in the wallet and days we can’t find it. And it’s ok! Tomorrow will come and I will forget where I am going and meet new people in the u-turns I must make. It’s a wonderful thing losing your mind!!!

It’s not a great picture. You don’t get many standing in a kwik trip parking lot. Driving home the other night I watched a moment of wonder for about 45 minutes. A storm had gone through. I sat in the safety of the sunroom and watched the rain come sideways. Over an inch in a short amount of time caused puddles everywhere. As I drove home I drove by trees downed, ditches full of water and involuntary rivers connecting puddles to ditches to peoples front yards.

The moments of wonder as I drove included a rainbow. When I first saw it I asked God, what promise did he have for me? Seems these past four years most things that were important to me have been taken away. People, places and things. Promises are given not removed. The rainbow changed. It made me wonder why life changes- a never ending question in search for meaning in life. For miles I drove watching the rainbow seemingly turn from one part of the sky to the other always keeping right in front of my eyes: and I was keeping my eyes on the road most of the time. I pulled off once to take a picture but pictures don’t satisfy the eyes of the heart some days.

Then I pulled into kwik trip and from one horizon to the other the rainbow stretched seemingly to reach as far as God is. I got out of the car and just stood and watched it . I backed up across the parking lot in an attempt to capture it all and there was not enough backing up to capture the width. I had to be content with a mediocre photo that filled my desperate longing for completion. That seems to be life. We back up hoping to just get some satisfaction. Just some Lord, I will take just some! I don’t need the whole rainbow but I want it. I don’t need the answers but I long for them.

For a moment and many moments later as I drove home that rainbow stretching the entire sky left me speechless and longing for God. Maybe it was to be truthful, longing for the promises God has for me that My heart hasn’t discovered.

I have a verse for each day when I go into my prayer time. I usually have the prayer book for about 6 months before I start another. Matthew 6:32-33 has been Thursday’s verse for a long time. I am ready to move on. For if my Heavenly Father knows that I need all these things why isn’t he doing something about it? I am trying to seek his kingdom and his righteousness and I am waiting for all these things to be added: there just seems to be a hang up somewhere. The hang up is in one word that is defined by Webster’s and Marette and is different than the definition on God’s mind. The word, need you even ask, is the word NEED.

Up to verse 32 Jesus was reminding those who were listening what was important in life. It’s not what’s on the table but who is sitting with you, and it’s not what you are wearing but that you are clothed. We fuss about what we think we need to look like, aspire to and represent to others and God is just saying, love me and love others and I will take care of the needs you have.

Meanwhile back at the farm, I miss the flowers God has splashed all over the garden because I have mud everywhere and dirt piles. I have no power in the front room yet but I miss the incredible view through those huge windows that have given me a front row seat watching the corn sprout, grow, go way beyond knew high by the Fourth of July and now is tasseled and producing ears of corn. That simple thing, a need God supplies for us to make a living, is so complicated I can’t even explain it without a chemistry degree and yet God just shows me my needs growing straight up strong and tall and I, I miss it because my wants are so confused with my needs.

I want this. I want that. My temporal heart sees the want. God is trying to get my eternal heart to see the need. The only need I have is quite well described in Psalm 19. “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thee sight O Lord, my strength and my redeemer.” Lest I think the things Jesus mentioned one the chapters preceding Matthew 6 are simply casually mentioned, I need to pray like Jesus taught is. I need to grasp being a light not just be a beautiful light fixture. I need to hold with my heart the loving my neighbor moments in life and meditate on how to love them not worry about how far down the street a neighbor actually lives before they quit being my neighbor. I need to fast to refocus my attention, I need to fill storage lockers in heaven not here below and I need to forgive! I really need to forgive. When I pull off living through the needs Jesus brings up and not the wants I see, I will watch him “and all these thing shall be added unto you” pile on my plate. And yet I tend to look at the plate sitting on the shelf and wonder when it’s time to eat?

When we bought the cabin 14 years ago I had this idea of planting flowers. I hadn’t thought through that I would not be around to water them or protect them from the natural environment such as bunnies and deer but I wanted color and beauty. The iris I planted didn’t make it a year. They were all eaten. The hosta made it slightly longer but by the end of the second year I had nothing in my yard. And then we noticed random purple iris showing up in the marsh. Little bits of color began showing up across the 6 acres we call home away from home. Last night I walked along the waters edge and saw purple iris are as far as eye can see. I meant to have one plant. The deer ate the plants and deposited the seeds when they, well pooped! So years later now we have flowers all through the meadow, the marsh and along the lake front. It’s prettier than I would have imagined.

God does that. I have an idea- God has a plan. I have a thought-God uses it to create a vision. My lilies are growing along side the house where I tucked them in an effort to have flowers. God sent the purple iris all over the property just to remind me who he is and what he created is far beyond my comprehension. So I look at the lilies and see God. Maybe that was his plan all along….

I know I am priviledged. I know I am special. When I begin to have a pity party over what has been handed me the past few years, I get frustrated and slightly angry and then I go to the cabin. God seems to have given us that place not just to bless others but to be a calm in the world that petrifies our hearts. I can lie on a hammock and watch the lake. I can paddle aimlessly around on the paddle boat and fish; rather catch and release! I can sleep under the vaulted ceiling with the rain keeping a beautiful tempo on the roof. I can make couscous and salmon and no one says, “yuck”. I can eat popcorn and drink diet coke and feel as if the world is in sync. And then there was this weekend. Perhaps because of all that’s happened with Covid, it was just different.

I love Black bear. My father raised them. My younger brother, who I was going to enjoy cabin time with, grew up with the babies drinking out of a bottle and running around in our home. I just about got a new hood ornament, and probably a new car! A black bear ran out in front of the truck and trailer in front of me and not sure why they didn’t hit him and not sure why I missed also. He lumbered up the hill as brakes were causing cars to create patterns not normally used on the road. He was oblivious to the world around him. He was oblivious to the fact he almost caused a huge wreck on Wisconsin 35 south of Frederic. He lumbered off, and he was fairly big for a black bear, without a care in the world. I was a bit jealous: not of the little incident but that he worried not about anything.

I drove back to the cabin Sunday after a short jaunt to town and had to slow for a deer and fawn. She stood tall, smelling and taking in the world around her as the world sped by with black tires, exhaust and music blaring. The fawn stood by her side not a care in the world. They both looked at me as if to say, “hi, how is your day going?” It made me smile from the bottom of my heart.

I sat in the sun after a good nap, simply enjoying the beauty of the lake when a dragon fly landed on my leg. At first, I brushed it off. Then another one came and I let it just sit on my knee. Not a care in the world could stop this beautiful creature. It flew around, stopped again and as it sat on my knee I heard the hummingbird drinking out of the feeder.

Jesus reminded us that we are God’s creations. He compared us to the grass in the field, the beautiful wildflowers. The Psalms declare the handiwork of God by his creation. I sat and marveled at how simple the world is when you look at the beauty of God. How complex the world becomes when we look at ourselves. The flowers that I left to bloom when I mowed, were now lifting their red and yellow flowers to the sky. It was almost as if they were praising their creator with arms lifted high. When I look at the flower and it’s intricate design, I see God. When I look at the lake and the clouds, I see God. Then, I check on Facebook or the news and see what man has done.

I think I will go back to watching God and listen to the frogs. There is something about creation that is soothing and renewing. “Be still and know that I am God” doesn’t really apply to nature, as his presence in croaking, chirping, and whatever you call the Loon call. And yet, it’s beautiful and it’s a gentle reminder that God is. And I am so thankful I have a place I can be reminded. Job 12:7-9 ⁷“But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you; ⁸or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish in the sea inform you. ⁹Which of all these does not know that the hand of the LORD has done this?” Oh, and I forgot to tell you about the fish, and the whooping crane , loons, Bald eagle that eats the loon eggs, black squirrel, and the beaver.