Author: marettej

They left us alone. We had two bottles, the grandbaby and directions of what to do. We pulled all the tricks out of the very new grandparent bag of “what to do when baby fusses “ moments. Two bottles downed, play time, scooting across the floor and every toy tried failed. It was time for bed. Not for us, unfortunately!!! He fussed, he cried, he got himself all worked up. I got another big burp out, grandpa heard it in the other room and then I defied the orders. The orders, “don’t snuggle him just put him in the bed.” I held him close and sang wordless melody’s that had no beginning nor end. Slowly his body relaxed and it was a few minutes and his eyes were closed and he was “gone”. I didn’t put him down right away. I just held him close.

An hour before we got the news our friend had passed. Since her diagnosis of cancer, she had become my wednesday prayer partner. I held that precious baby and imagined God holding her close as her body struggled with the transition of going home.

This really hit home as I thought back to one of her messages to me.

“Thank you, Marette. I’ve been having more discomfort/pain as this cancer grows and that makes it easy to feel more of the darkness. I’m His child though, and he is holding me, even when I don’t recognize it. ”

Wade knew it wasn’t mommy holding him but he did know someone was and he was loved. Lori knew who was holding her, even when it didn’t feel like it: her faith knew God was.

May we all trust God when the darkness of reality, cancer, pain, frustration and failure covers our heart. May we have the confidence that Lori had. We are Gods children and He is holding us. To go to sleep in the arms of God must be a very comforting beautiful moment only surpassed by waking up in Gods arm in eternity.

Not recommended! We heard that suggestion getting off the boat. Of course, I am married to someone who said, they didn’t say we couldn’t, they just said, not recommended. I have no desire to walk on a sandbar that is highly recommended that I do not walk on. It’s not something that tempts me at all. Yet, there are so many things in life that God says as we get off the boats in our world, and head out into our day “I wouldn’t recommend that” that intrigue me!

We find all sorts of reasons to do the “not recommended” because we see it as exciting, or fun, or perhaps just because it wasn’t recommended, seems like a green light to try it. I have no clue why it wasn’t recommended that we walk on the sand bar. Perhaps because it wasn’t safe, maybe because it’s government property and probably the biggest reason is there is no reason to. Often just because something exists doesn’t mean we need to conquer and put our flag on it. Along with the “not recommended”, there are plenty of things they told us to do when we got off the boat. Yet, that sandbar kept calling me to wonder, why it had other parameters.

God give us a wide avenue in which to walk: the recommended things in life that bring us life, hope and joy more than we can ever fully take in. Yet, we look at the “not recommended” things and start drooling.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5. Simply put, it’s recommended that we abide in him. Yet, we see the not recommended which takes us apart from him, and we just want to know what it would be like to step onto the sandbar.

Enjoy today in the things God has given, recommended and blessed your life with. Those sandbars in life will be there, we don’t have to look or wait for them. And trust the people God has put in your path that reminds you what isn’t recommended. Someones we just need someone standing there as we get off the boat reminding us where to walk and what isn’t recommended.

55 minutes: not that I was counting or watching the clock but it was 55 minutes. It wasn’t non stop screaming: he would look at the mirror or see a semi pull into the farm and momentarily pause then suddenly remember, “I was screaming and throwing a fit!” Back at it he would go, red faced, stiffened back and kicking feet. Did I mention it was 55 minutes? His mommy went shopping. She left grandma in charge to feed and put him to sleep. One of us didn’t get the memo. As soon as mommy was out the door he began. If I forgot to mention, he kept in for 55 minutes. Didn’t want the bottle, didn’t want Grammy, didn’t want distractions, didn’t want to snuggle, and definitely didn’t have a sense that Grammy was adequate for the moment. Did I mention how long this went on? We paced. I paced and he screamed. Eventually he slowed to get his breath. He would whimper a bit, the eyes doing all they could to stay open enough to close again , take a big breath and scream. Then his eyes closed and he snuggled down asleep. One more whimper and then he was out! Did I fail to mention when I looked at the clock it had been 55 minutes?
Lord you must see me as that baby at times. You are all I need. You have what will supply my needs and you have me protected and I just throw a fit! A big fit! Some of my fits have lasted probably, well okay for sure they have been longer than 55 minutes! And yet you just hold me gently, whispering, singing, and walking with me, waiting for me to give in to what’s best for me. And as I sleep in your arms and all is quiet in my heart, I can hear you saying to me just as I found myself whispering to my grandson, “you are so beautiful!” But did I mention 55 minutes?