Being Comforted

They left us alone. We had two bottles, the grandbaby and directions of what to do. We pulled all the tricks out of the very new grandparent bag of “what to do when baby fusses “ moments. Two bottles downed, play time, scooting across the floor and every toy tried failed. It was time for bed. Not for us, unfortunately!!! He fussed, he cried, he got himself all worked up. I got another big burp out, grandpa heard it in the other room and then I defied the orders. The orders, “don’t snuggle him just put him in the bed.” I held him close and sang wordless melody’s that had no beginning nor end. Slowly his body relaxed and it was a few minutes and his eyes were closed and he was “gone”. I didn’t put him down right away. I just held him close.

An hour before we got the news our friend had passed. Since her diagnosis of cancer, she had become my wednesday prayer partner. I held that precious baby and imagined God holding her close as her body struggled with the transition of going home.

This really hit home as I thought back to one of her messages to me.

“Thank you, Marette. I’ve been having more discomfort/pain as this cancer grows and that makes it easy to feel more of the darkness. I’m His child though, and he is holding me, even when I don’t recognize it. ”

Wade knew it wasn’t mommy holding him but he did know someone was and he was loved. Lori knew who was holding her, even when it didn’t feel like it: her faith knew God was.

May we all trust God when the darkness of reality, cancer, pain, frustration and failure covers our heart. May we have the confidence that Lori had. We are Gods children and He is holding us. To go to sleep in the arms of God must be a very comforting beautiful moment only surpassed by waking up in Gods arm in eternity.