It was my intention as it always is. Ash Wednesday Service was yesterday. I had made my plans and going to an Ash Wednesday service was the highlight of the week. Then there was Monday. Somehow Monday, a piece of the wicker laundry basket was on the floor and I stepped right on it. I didn’t just step on it, I launched it into my foot. That didn’t stop me. I hobbled through the day. I spent a large portion of the day in the hospital with friends then of course fulfilled my obligation to my Taekwondo Class. They are used to me modifying my movements so hobbling was not unusual to them. By the end of the night however, it was evident something was wrong. So I came home, sterilized a needle and tweezers and went on the attack. The best part of where the sliver had gone in was it was on the extreme bottom part of my foot. I didn’t do as much damage as I would have liked. It’s a bit hard to see down there!
By yesterday, my Ash wednesday planning day, things were worse. I called the Dr. and then headed into town where they advised me to go. By the time I hobbled out of the Dr. office with only a sock on because there was no way my painful throbbing foot was going to go into my shoe, I realized there would be no Ash Wednesday Service. I was at the mercy of getting home on my own are allowing the 11 year old to drive us home. I opted for biting the bullet and going straight home.
Ash Wednesday came and went. I snuggled on the chair under my blanket and tried not to feel my foot throbbing. Ironically, I had no cross of ashes on my forehead however I have a cross on my foot, a lancing of the sliver location. One would have reminded me of the death of my Lord. The other reminded me of the pain of my Lord.
This morning as I snuggle with three dogs on the couch, I am reading my Lenten study. I never did this as a kid. We ignored it. The older I get the more I find the things that others use to focus their eyes on God can really be effective in my worship. What I remember from Lent as a child is the kids in school talking about what they gave us and we got Fish Sandwiches in the cafeteria for lunch on Friday. Lent focuses on fasting, forgiveness, giving up something and refocusing our hearts from what so easily entangles us to look at what should propel us to be more like Jesus. I don’t like to give up things, especially food.
I have a fancy, well not really fancy, gauze covering the bottom of my foot. It’s held on with white tape. It doesn’t hurt as much as it did last night. My heart changes are the same. The things I feel God drawing out of me to bring me closer to Him may hurt for a while but eventually the scab and the scars are reminders of His healing.
I won’t forget my foot issue for a long time. It will be with me every time I take a step. That should be with my heart also. I should feel the changes, either taking away (giving up for Lent) or adding to my faith walk to draw closer to God. Every step I take should remind me that I desperately need God, I am loved by an incredible creator and my sins are forgiven. That’s better than ashes, gauze and tape!
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