Overwhelmed and disappointment: two words that are powerful. Overwhelmed means you are covered over, or perhaps you are lying under. That can mean physically, emotionally or spiritually. Something has you covered in some way. Disappointment, well that’s breaking the word down and having the joy and excitement of an appointment, something to look forward to, something to get excited about, and going the opposite way- being dissed so to speak. Losing joy, not being excited, not having something to look forward to and having the forces of negativity directing your heart. So why are we disappointed? For me, so often it is people. People going back on their word, breaking a promise, being disrespectful, not working together, not seeing the big picture, not being truthful about life in general. I don’t get disappointed when things don’t work out when it’s been tried and not accomplished. That is called trial and error and doesn’t affect me a bit except to challenge me to find a way to make it work. It’s when people choose to not fulfill their part of the bargain that disappoints me. Failure is ok…failure to try is not.
Overwhelmed, that is a big word. It’s like being in a thunderstorm and there is no where to run. You are totally surrounded. You are 100% covered. No dry spot on you, no dry spot under your shoes and the umbrella you had just burst a big rip and you have water dripping off your glasses onto your nose, that to me, is overwhelmed. I don’t like wet clothes. I don’t like standing in wet shoes. I do love rain but not in winter and not when I have no protection. As a kid we used to get caught in the bern during a rain storm and it was one of the most wonderful feelings ever. Sitting by the door watching it rain was a special feeling. I could run to the house, I could step back into the huge barn with the hay and snuggle down for a nap but just sitting watching the storm roll in,,, I can still see it in my mind,
When I get overwhelmed, and it’s more often than I would like to admit, I put myself emotionally in that barn. God has become my barn. He has me covered, overwhelmed, but in a safe, special place. I can’t see how the disappointment has hurt me because I am in the barn. I can’t hear the people talking, all I hear is the rain on the roof and the thunder rolling. The barn roof has blocked out the people’s voices, words and the walls keep them from stabbing my heart.
God won’t disappoint me; he will allow others to disappoint because he wants me to look at him and not at them. He meets me in his word not in their back yard. It’s hard to do especially when people don’t live by the same standards : even in the Christian world, there are so many times we don’t act like Jesus. We act like us, with Jesus as a light jacket. Light jackets don’t cover and they don’t keep warm. Eventually others will see you from under the light Jesus jacket and the real person flops through hurting others and causing disappointment and feelings of overwhelming for those we encounter. To be covered we need to be totally overwhelmed by God so none of us sticks out anywhere.
So go find a barn. Maybe that’s why I love barn photos. It’s a comfort for me. We don’t have a barn at the farm…that is my one regret. I love barns. But I do have a God, a big barn where disappointment and overwhelming feelings can be handled and I feel safe and protected.
Special Touch Ministry 